On My Way

Following on from the Just Be saga, I think I may now be On My Way. Whereas I still do not really know what it is that God has planned for me, He has rekindled the two passions of football and rock music within me. He is also definitely using me as a work in progress. I felt His presence with me in a big way at yet another Hungry night at Trinity yesterday. I know I have to leave some more of my old life in the rear view mirror and travel with a lighter load. I know that I have to stop looking at life with a same old, same old attitude, and let a new day be the start of something new. I have to continue to let go of the things that are holding me back. I need to look at the world with brand new eyes. So with God's help I'm now on my way again, not sure where to, but I'm going to get there. The road ahead will be much easier, assuming that I allow God to be the SatNav, but that's not to say that it will be easy, there is a big difference. Let's hope no more wrong turns down mindless cul-de-sacs. Here follows the words from the song, which is on the Return to Paradise album:

On My Way

Oh what a beautiful night
Couldn't get any clearer
Yeah what a wonderful sight
My old life in the rear view mirror

Hey now I'm travelin' light
Duffel bag and a six string
Yeah but it feels so right
To hear the bells of freedom ring

Gotta get away from
The same old same
Let a new day come
Start over again

Hey I was stuck in a grind
Little fish in a little pond
If I had a criminal mind
I'd have got myself a gun

Had to get away from
The ball and chain
Let a new day come
Or start goin' insane

I'm on my way
Don't know to where
But I'm gonna get there

On my way
Look at the world
With my brand new eyes

I can't believe I feel so high
I'm on my way tonight

Hey I was going to seed
Spreading out like a corn field
I had so much denial to feed
I was full of nothing real

I had to get away from
My old routine
Let a new day come
Start over again

I'm on my way
I don't know to where
But I'm gonna get there

On my way
Look at the world
Through my brand new eyes

I can't believe
I get to feel
So good
So high tonight

Starting tonight
There will be
A revival
In my world

Turn on the lights
And you'll see
This one man band
Is now a symphony

And the sun
Is gonna shine
Like a summer time
That has no end

And the love
I will find
I have no doubt
That it will be mine
The love I find
Will all be mine

On my way...
I have faith
The road up ahead
Gonna get much easier

On my way
Look at me now
With a brand new life

I can't believe
I feel so high
I'm on my way tonight

Just Be (III)

I'm beginning to think that God is trying to get my attention, and radically alter/improve my prayer life! When writing Just Be, which was never intended to be a continuing saga, I mentioned that I should make more time for listening prayer rather than to just present God with a shopping list of requests. Today, I was reading the introductory section for the week, in the study notes that I follow. Seems to be part of a trend. I will quote it below, and for the sake of legality say that it is written by John Clevely, and can be found in Closer to God, which is produced by Scripture Union. Think that takes care of the lawyers bit!

" Touching the intangible

People complain about being used. You only want me for my body or my money or what you can get out of me... But how does God feel when we present a shopping list to him? Prayer is not a means to an end but an end in itself. There are of course many benefits to be gained from prayer, but the heart of prayer is our relationship with God. Getting things without getting God is missing the point. There are times when the concerns that we have brought to God are not changed, but we are. And this is an answer to our prayers that we do not always appreciate. We pray as best as we can and God answers as best he knows. We pray our way but God answers his way.

Prayer is not meant to be a brief period of praise followed by an all-out assault on God to give us our desires. Rather it is surrendering our will to his. Jesus conquered the overwhelming desire to pass the cup as he wrestled in prayer in Gethsemane. We never inform God of anything when we pray. He knows it all before we utter a sound.

Prayer is the highest act we can ever perform on earth. It touches the intangible and envisions the invisible. Prayer appeals to the highest authority in the universe and gets things done his way. Prayer does not bounce off the ceiling but enters heaven. Our prayers find an open door and a warm welcome. Even when there is an apparent delay in our receiving of an answer, God is not indifferent and inclines towards his people who he loves to hear and answer.

Prayer is an adventure and a constant challenge. The Holy Spirit is our greatest help when we pray, so before you go on with this series ask him to draw near and to make this a week of marked growth."

I say Amen to that. I'm looking forward to a week of challenging bible studies on prayer, which hopefully will continue me on my journey to Just Be.

Just Be (II)

I must admit that it is very hard to just be. Yesterday at Trinity, we had another one of our Hungry For God evenings. At the one the night before, I clearly felt God's Spirit upon me, however, last night I felt odd about the whole thing. I was desperate for more of God's presence, but felt nothing. I was becoming increasingly annoyed, by the fact that everyone else appeared to be being filled with the Spirit, and I was not. I know that God works in his timing, and not at our beck and call, but that did not help. Towards the end of the evening though things changed big time. We are privileged to have at Trinity some very anointed and inspired worship leaders. Whilst we were singing a song written by one of them, the words just resonated with me. I was tired and could not do things on my own, and needed God's help. At the same time, I was prayed for by three guys, one of whom had spoken prophetically into my life a few years ago. This time he was saying that he felt God say it was time for new beginnings, and that it was time to let some of the past go,he did not know that I had the same feeling about 12 hours earlier, but discounted it due to stroppiness. The cumulative effect of the song words and the prayer, enabled me to spend some quality time just being in the presence of God.

Today was still a struggle, as often after intimate times with God, we are attacked. I will persevere to just be with God, as it is attitude to have. I know God has something of signifigance planned for me to be part of, but I have to be patient and let Him prepare me for what ever it is in His time. Not being a patient person this is hard, but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.

Just Be

I often feel like I need a break, from what exactly I don't know. I have a great family, home and friends. I feel tired and run down more than I should do. The feeling that things would be better if I had a holiday, or once I've got this or that sorted, when I've lost weight, etc. are high in my thought process. In other words, things will get better when I've done something. The problem with my life though, is that it does not work like that. Once I've got that job done, there are loads more to do. Once I've had that relaxing holiday or day out, the day to day routine has not changed so the same old tired feelings soon resurface. In some professions, sabbaticals are offered, and I know quite a few people who have benefited from them, but if I took one would things change, not that I'm in a position to do that anyway. I feel I need the benefit of a sabbatical, without the time out aspect. What's the problem?

The problem though is blindingly obvious, all the changes that I am trying to implement, are being done by me! I am weak and tired. I can not do it by myself. Even friends and family can not do it for me, even though they offer so much support. The only way to change is by allowing God to be God, and to let Him fully guide and direct my life. The more I try to do things in my strength, the tireder I feel. I know from experience, that when God is fully in control of my life, I'm calmer, more relaxed, and in proper control of situations.

So why do I not allow Him to do what is His desire for me all the time. Stubbornness and pride probably. I want to be in control and feel like I'm the one who can change things for the better. The trouble is my control, does not feel like control, whereas God's control does. So how should I get there?

I do not need a holiday or sabbatical to get there. It's here for me now. God is ready and willing to supply me with rest, control, strength, and everything else I long for, through the power of His Holy Spirit. All I have to do is receive it, it really is that simple. The simplicity, is probably why I find it so hard to do it. I need to make myself more receptive to the promptings of His Spirit. I need to read the Bible in more depth than I normally find time for. I need to make time to pray properly, with time to listen for His voice, rather than just giving a shopping list of requests. I need to immerse myself in His love at every opportunity, thankfully He has placed me within a Church where this is always possible. I need to be more inspired, by reading books which demonstrate His great love for us all.

But above all, in order to be the person that God wants me to be, I just have to be. It's that simple. Just be receptive to the out pouring of His Holy Spirit and to be myself, not pretending to be like someone else, or worrying what is happening to other people. To be rested and in control properly, I need to Just Be - Me and God together in partnership.

Nothing Ever Goes As Planned...........or does it?

I have spent some time recently reflecting back over my life and wondering if things did go as planned, or not. The original master plan was "O" levels, "A" levels, then uni. Plan failed at the "O" level stage due to an interest in music, girls(failing miserably), and the discovery that if I messed around at school the bullies left me alone!

Next plan was to get a job in a travel agency, not the right qualifications, but an employment agency got me a job at an insurance company. Six years later, and fed up by being overlooked for a decent promotion, given to someone not up to the job and later left as could not cope, I joined an insurance broker in Slough.

Three weeks later, they decided I was not for them, not what I had planned at all! However, at this time both my Nan and my Dad both died soon after each other, so it did mean that I was at home to look after my Mum.

Managed to get a job doing maternity cover at an insurance brokers in Maidenhead, this lasted abut another six years. After transfering to the London office, found that travel costs were getting prohibitive after a few years, so when a job came up twenty minutes walk from home, I lept at it. This was a disaster, felt like walking out after one day, lasted just over a year. The chap I had replaced had left as he was having a nervous breakdown, and I nearly followed. The owner was an out and out bully, who did not know how to handle people.

The next stage of the master plan was to relocate down here somewhere, but not Cheltenham, as did not like it. I was to get a job, and my wife would stay at home to raise a family. Yeah right! She got a job first, in Cheltenham, and became pregnant. I stayed at home , family raising. We did end up next to a lovely family, who put us in touch with the Church we now go to.

Durring the a routine scan in the pregnancy, we were advised that the baby was likely to have a major heart problem. The plan was for it to be induced and operated on at Guys in London. What happened? Two months early and in Gloucester, my wife felt unwell and baby was rapidly delivered. Rushed to Bristol, where the possible major turned out to be minor in comparison, but still a few operations over his life so far.

Five years ago, my Mum was planning on moving just down the road from us. She had a stroke, and died three weeks later, the day after our second son was born. Not good timing.

Two months ago, with a hectic schedule of activities planned, I went down with pneumonia and was told to rest up for a couple of months. Not what I would have planned, but has led to me being more refreshed than before.

So after this brief resume of my life, it would appear that nothing ever goes as planned, but does it? None of these events went as I had planned, but who is to say that it has not gone as God has planned. He has a plan for all of our lives, we just don't know what it is exactly. I'm not saying that I think Mum dying was His plan, but as a result of it, when my wife was made redundant, the implications were not as bad as they could have been. My eldest son's heart problem has now more or less been sorted/healed but the earlier issues have raised my trust levels in God. A few times I have found myself in the right place at the right time through none of my planning.

I am now trying to learn to trust God's plan for me and my family, which is hard as I like to be in control, but in the long term will be infinitely better.

Hallelujah Chorus

This truly inspirational piece, which I have sung in my younger days as part of a choir, also appears on the album The Serpent Is Rising. It is a simple proclamation of the truths of God's majesty and power. Why sometimes do we over complicate things, be it in word or action. Sometimes it is better just to rest and meditate on the awesomeness of God. There appears to be a new worldwide wave of God's Spirit being poured out on His people. I do not want to miss out on the opportunity to receive this. Maybe, just maybe, I need to remind myself that God is God, and I am not! I need to wait and listen for His voice, both by making time for reflection, and by praise. Whereas this piece is not usually used in modern Church settings, it does express praise at it's best.


Hallelujah Chorus

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

King of kings and Lord of lords
King of kings and Lord of lords
And He shall reign forever and ever
Forever and ever

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Rock & Roll Feeling

Today my spirits have been uplifted by the amazing news that the Sony Gold award winning radio station Planet Rock has been saved. GCAP were going to close it at the end of March, but concerted pressure led to extensions and sale offers. It looked as though it would go to Brian May from Queen, but GCAP pulled the plug, to much public dismay. The outcome is even better, the consortium includes four rock legends, from four different strands of rock - Jethro Tull, Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, and Marillion - and no current plan to change the scheduling.

No Styx lyrics in this one, only the title, no real Christian attempted slant either, but without meaning to sound corny or flippant, this is an answer to prayer. Over half a million listeners can not be wrong. Thank you God. Content of announcement is below:


PLANET ROCK SOLD4th June 2008

The news we have all been waiting for……….

At long last I’m delighted to be able to announce that Planet Rock’s future is now secure. We have been purchased by life long rock and radio fan Malcolm Bluemel and his consortium supported by our very own Tony Iommi, Ian Anderson , Gary Moore, and Fish, saving Planet Rock from certain closure.

In a deal finalised earlier today Malcolm takes control of the station with immediate effect, there will be no break in transmission or changes in programming. Everyone at the station is over the moon and more than a little relieved that we’ve got the outcome we hoped for and that the wait is over. Now we can get back to normal.

Thanks to everyone of you for your amazing support it really has been overwhelming, the individual email messages, the petitions to the Prime Minister and Ofcom, the incredible tenacity of the Save Planet Rock web site and to those groups who tried unsuccessfully to buy the station, you have all been an inspiration to all of us here at Planet Rock. You are all very special. We are all looking forward to working with Malcolm. His passion for rock music and his love for the station can only help us in our aim to make Planet Rock the best rock station in the world……….ever.

Dear John

This song was written by Styx after the death of John Panozzo in 1996. He was the original drummer and co-founder of the group with his twin brother Chuck, and Dennis de Young. The words keep coming to me at the moment for some unexplained reason. I think most people who have lost someone dear to them can relate to lines such as "I swear I saw you on a crowded street today" and "I'll see you again someday soon". Whilst not being written from a Christian perspective, as far as I'm aware, the song does contain echos of faith within it. Such as "heaven help me", "there will be a celebration, when all will be revealed", and "find some peace there, may it never end". Whether you have a Christian faith or not, it is always hard when someone you love dies, and believe me it can be very hard to cope with. The sense of loss diminishes after a while, but then stupid little thing bring it all back to the surface, sometimes even as long as 22 years later, as I know only too well! However, God promises that those who believe in Him will reside with Him for ever in heaven, free from pain and suffering. It is this promise that I hold onto, for without it I do not think I could have coped with certain things that have effected me. We do not know or have the capacity to understand what is or is not in God's plan, but I trust Him to bring it to fruition.


Dear John

Dear John I knew you
About as well as anyone
We were the wild ones
So sure those days would never end

Now they're only
Memories my friend
Dear John I'll see you
Someday again

I swear I saw you
On a crowded street today
I almost called your name
Thinking of all those yesterdays

Heaven help me
How I miss my friend
Dear John I'll see you
Someday again

There'll be a celebration
When all will be revealed
We'll have a reunion
High on a hill

Dear John how are you
God knows it's heaven
Where you are

Find some peace there
May it never end
Dear John my heart knows
We'll meet again

Dear John I'll see you
Someday again