Not In Control

I really do not like not being in control. I would not say that I am a control freak, rather that I like to be able to do things my way. I like to have a plan, and then be able to follow it through. I want what I think is best for me and my family. I tend to get rather annoyed when things do not work out. This could be simple things like an accident shutting a road, meaning having to go a different route, or things of a more complex nature.

At the moment we are going through the process of "choosing" a senior school for our eldest son. We have "parental choice", we can "choose" up to four preferred options. On the face of it, this is a good thing, however, at the end of the day, the County allocate. They may, or may not, take into account our "choices". We are looking at prospective schools. There is one that we would call our first choice, which to our mind would be ideal for him, both in terms of size and subject specialisms. We can put this and three others down, and then it is out of our hands. Allocation is known next March. Why is it called parental choice?

As I said in the first paragraph, I do not like not being in control. I can so easily slip into headless chicken mode now, at the thought of not getting him into the school of our choice. I know as a Christian I should give it all up to God, and His will be done, and all that. It's not that easy for me, I'm afraid. On this one common sense is not working. Prayer for peace of mind would be appreciated.

I am not in control, but God is! I have to try and trust that what He wants will be for the best, and that it may tie in with what I want.

Waiting For Our Time

When is our time? When is the right time? It seems to me that we can quite often, wait for a more opportune time to do something, rather than grasp the current moment. Well I do anyway! This could refer to wide variety of issues - relationships, career choices, housework (definitely), etc. By nature I am a cautious person, I like to deliberate on something before making a decision. Those that know me will know that football is the exception to this rule, where I say/do first, regret later!

It can be daunting meeting 40 people in a pub for the first time, as I did in Putney Saturday night, but if I had waited till I felt confident about that situation, I probably would never have gone, and met such nice people.

The bible tells us that God is with us at all times, and in all situations. If we believe this to be true, and offer our lives to God in prayer, then anytime could become our time. Yes we can make some bad decisions as well, as God has given us freewill. I find, however, that I have confidence that comes from God when I go his way, and a sense of insecurity when I do not.

The song of this title comes from the Cyclorama album. It is written I assume, about a boy/girl relationship, though some aspects of it can relate to faith as well. Talk of searching, wondering, yearning. Your love has kept my dream alive, a vision of my life, with you here by my side. Still I hold on and wait, I know it's not too late, and still my breeze will come.

I know that I need to stop waiting so much about some things, and just do them in the faith that God will say this is our time.


Waiting For Our Time

Looking up from where I stand
I see the vapor trail
Of a jet plane in the sky

Here the wheel is in my hand
But there’s no wind in my sails
And life is drifting by

Still I hold on and wait
I know it’s not too late
And my breeze will come

Muse you satisfy my soul
Keep me warm while the
Cold world guards the gate

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

Your love has kept my dream alive
A vision of my life
With you here by my side

Every forward step I take
Every moment I’m awake
I feel your love inside

So close I feel it in my bones
I know I’m not alone as I climb this wall
But I, sometimes I get so high
I just want to live, love
And taste it all

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

Here tonight
I lie awake and watch you dream
Under the light of the moon
I wonder just how far we’ve been
And where we’ll be
When the sun comes up
Will this be our date with destiny

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

And I’m waiting

How To Win Friends And Influence People (IV)

How To Be A Leader:

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this;

1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2) Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly

3) Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person

4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

5) Let the other person save face

6) Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"

7) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

8) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

9) Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

As I said in first post on this book, all of these should be "no brainers", why then do we all find them so hard to follow? Why do we find it easier to knock down others and build up ourselves, rather than seeing things from the other person's point of view. No easy way of changing our own attitudes, but we need to keep asking God to make us more like Him. He is the only one who can help us follow these principles on consistent basis.

How To Win Friends and Influence People (III)

How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking:

1) The only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it

2) Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "you're wrong"

3) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4) Begin in a friendly way

5) Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately

6) Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

7) Let the other person feel like the idea is his or hers

8) Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

9) Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires

10) Appeal to the nobler motives (ie in the absence of any fact to the contrary, assume the other person is being honest and truthful)

11) Dramatise your ideas

12) Throw down a challenge ( but not in a threatening manner!)

How To Win Friends And Influence People (II)

Six Ways To Make People Like You:

1) Become genuinely interested in other people

2) Smile

3) Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language (ie if you remember and use a person's name you will be held in higher esteem)

4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

5) Talk in terms of the other person's interests

6) Make the other person feel important- and to it sincerely

How To Win Friends And Influence People

I was reading R T Kendall's book Total Forgiveness when recovering earlier this year, he recommends reading the book of this title. Whilst it is not a specifically Christian book, it does contain lots of stuff that could have been taken straight from Proverbs, Paul's letters, or even Jesus' teachings. The book was written by Dale Carnegie and was first published in 1937, and as such, some of the language used is a bit dated. The title has been much maligned over the years, but I feel that it is imperative that we attempt to follow the principles he suggests, as to me they should be "no brainers", and as such will make our walk easier and more fulfilling.

The book is split into four parts, and my next four posts will outline the the principles suggested in each part.

Fundamental Techniques In Handling People:

1) Don't criticise, condemn, or complain

2) Give honest and sincere appreciation

3) Arouse in the other person an eager want (ie someone will do something if they want to)