Friendship Quotations

I will admit at the outset, that this is neither my idea, or my listing. This list was provided by a friend of mine, WMS, on a forum we both use, in response to a thread with this title. I thought that it was so good, that I would incorporate it on here.

A good friend will tell you what you want to hear.
A true friend will always tell the truth.

A good friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A good friend will be there for you all through school.
A true friend will be there till the day you die.

A good friend will bail you out of prison.
A true friend will be sitting next to you saying
"damn that was fun, but we f**ked up somewhere along the line!".

A good friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A true friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A good friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A true friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A good friend wonders about your romantic history.
A true friend could blackmail you with it.

A good friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A true friend calls you after you had a fight.

A good friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A true friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A good friend has never seen you cry.
A true friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A good friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A true friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A good friend expects you to always be there for them.
A true friend expects to always be there for you.

A good friend is someone you enjoy hanging out with.
A [true] friend is someone you need. (Neil Diamond, Heartlight)

BUT!!

A good friend will help you move.
A true friend will help you move a body.

A friend will take your alcohol away when you are drunk
A real friend will say "finish that you know we don't waste"

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents Dad/Mom

FAKE FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you saying "Damn ... we messed up ... but that was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you.

A good friend will pack you an overnight bag when you're taken to the hospital.
A true friend will clean out your porn collection before your parents arrive to pack your overnight bag.

a friend would lend you their umbrella when its raining
a TRUE friend would take your umbrella and run off shouting "RUN LOSER RUN!"

a good friend will tell you to get off the ground
a best friend will sit with you and say "how much money you recon we could get begging like this?"

A good friend helps you up if you trip
A best friend just stands there laughing because they tripped you

A good friend will lie for you in court if you committed murder.
A true friend will help you bury the body.