The main problem with recuperating from pneumonia, especially in the beginning, is the sheer lack of energy and enthusiasm for anything. The problem now, is that having been told to rest and not over do it for a couple of months, is that I am bored with doing nothing. I want to be active, I have never been the fittest person alive, and could do with losing some weight (even more so now having done nothing for two months!) but I want to be running, jumping, and generally being me again. I was desperate to play football again this week, but bowed to my wife's no! We have both been shaken up by this, especially in light of the fact that Frank Lampard's mother died from it in hospital. In that respect I can count myself blessed that it was caught in time, and treated by tablets at home.
As I had no strength at all for a few weeks, even the corner shop five minutes walk away was too much of a struggle, I had to rest up. That is something I find very hard. I had to rely on other people to do some of my jobs for me, so I started to feel redundant. When I am feeling low, I sometimes start to question things and get disillusioned with life. I have always managed to cling onto my faith, and God has again given me his strength to carry on, when I had none of my own. I have been prompted to read Total Forgiveness by RT Kendall, and Listening to God by Joyce Huggett, both of which have helped me to re-focus my mind. My illusions were further washed away by an awesome Hungry for God night at Trinity this last week. I have often found in the last six weeks the words of Show Me the Way buzzing around my head. Whereas it was not written from a Christian perspective, I find it greatly re-assuring. God does show us the way, He does give us signs to direct us, and He will wash our confusion away. Being a Christian for me is about asking God for the courage and strength to believe that some day I'll get there.
"Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith
Show me the way, show me the way Take me tonight to the river And wash my illusions away Show me the way
And as I slowly drift to sleep, for a moment dreams are sacred I close my eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred That I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to go And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't know
Show me the way, Show me the way Take me tonight to the mountain And wash my confusion away
And if I feel light, should I believe Tell me how will I know
Show me the way, show me the way Take me tonight to the river And wash my illusions away Show me the way, show me the way Give me the strength and the courage To believe that I'll get there someday Show me the way
Every night I say a prayer In the hope that there's a heaven..."
Friday 23 May 2008
Thursday 22 May 2008
The Best of Times
A question that has been buzzing around in my head is "when is your best not the best?". Have you ever done anything to the best of your ability, and then either been put down, or thought that the result was pants in comparison to others? After last nights football, the Chelsea players are probably feeling that these are the worst of times, but most of them appeared to give their all. I hope that they can reflect back at some stage and think yes I did my best, and be pleased by that. I know personally, I often feel that my best is not much, when I compare myself to the talents of those around me. In fact I sometimes feel that others are judging me by their apparent so much better standards. Both of these negative thought patterns need to be banished, but that is easier said than done, as we like to think our efforts are appreciated. The truth to cling onto, is that God made us all unique. There is no one else exactly like me, which is probably a good thing. We were all given different talents with which to work. My strength is not your strength and vice versa. We are not all "good" at the same thing, even if we share the same passion. What matters is we do whatever we are doing to the best of our own ability. If at the end of the day, I can say I honestly gave it my all, and approached the tasks in hand with the right attitude, then surely I can also say that these are the best of times. At the day of judgement, God is not going to say did you do your best compared to so and so, but did you do your best with the talents I gave you? So as hard as it is at times, we must stop beating ourselves up over differences which we can not change.
Locality or Success
This item was originally written in July 2007, but after last nights Champions League final, it seems even more relevent. Do not get me wrong I have nothing against teams like Manchester United or Chelsea as such. In the playground yesterday, I overheard a conversation between two mums. One of whom said she had to let her son (11 at most) stay up to watch the final as he was a massive United fan, has all the replica kits and the rest. When I sarcilly said whats wrong with Cheltenham Town then, looked at as if on different planet! My son was brave enough to admit to his friends that he supports both Slough Town and Bishops Cleeve, he was laughed at and told that's not proper football. At least he has been to games to see his teams, and knows where to find them on a map. He chose to follow Slough, I was actually trying to disuade him, as they are Not his local team. If as looks likely they will meet next season, he would prefer Cleeve to win, which is fine as they Are his local team. Peer pressure for street cred and the media darlings circus is robbing kids of the chance to keep local football alive.
Locality or Success
Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 6:10pm
What is it with kids, and grown men, who have to follow the top footy team of their day? Everywhere there are Man Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea, etc. Why? I know from when I was growing up, that after one dodgy season or two they will drop "their" team and follow the next big thing. Most don't even know where the town of thier team is! Ok around here there are a few Cheltenham Town shirts, but nationwide this is not usually the case. I know I'm given stick for it, but my team is Slough Town through better or worse. Given the last few years - very wose, now lowest level in their history. But they are my home team, and I still get there on occasions. Also now visit Cleeve as only 10 mins up lanes, again not the easy glamerous option. I accept that some follow the team followed by their Dad, or where there is a strong family tie, but come on how many in south and west England have ties to Manchester, to name one. My best friend from back home (now in USA) even follows Leeds and has done since we were kids. Was about to say why? but suppose even they had success then. Lower level teams have a hard enough time surviving without the local potential support favouring glamour. The harder option is often the cheaper and more fun, try it sometime!
Locality or Success
Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 6:10pm
What is it with kids, and grown men, who have to follow the top footy team of their day? Everywhere there are Man Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea, etc. Why? I know from when I was growing up, that after one dodgy season or two they will drop "their" team and follow the next big thing. Most don't even know where the town of thier team is! Ok around here there are a few Cheltenham Town shirts, but nationwide this is not usually the case. I know I'm given stick for it, but my team is Slough Town through better or worse. Given the last few years - very wose, now lowest level in their history. But they are my home team, and I still get there on occasions. Also now visit Cleeve as only 10 mins up lanes, again not the easy glamerous option. I accept that some follow the team followed by their Dad, or where there is a strong family tie, but come on how many in south and west England have ties to Manchester, to name one. My best friend from back home (now in USA) even follows Leeds and has done since we were kids. Was about to say why? but suppose even they had success then. Lower level teams have a hard enough time surviving without the local potential support favouring glamour. The harder option is often the cheaper and more fun, try it sometime!
Article about me in the Slough Town programme 1/12/07
Martin Lovegrove or Grandad lives in Cheltenham and is a full time dad and part time conservation worker in the Cotswolds. Despite moving away 10 years ago he still comes up and supports the Rebels. Martin is a member of the Trust but isn’t a season ticket holder as he runs a team in Cheltenham so can’t get to as many games as he would like. His first game was against Hayes at the Dolphin in 1972 then Wembley for the Amateur Cup Final. He started coming to games regularly December 1986 and his first away game was against Swansea in the FA Cup.
WHY DO YOU SUPPORT SLOUGH “In 1986 I split up with my fiancée, needed support of friends and been going ever since!”
WHO DO YOU COME TO GAMES WITH “The old ‘Banging with Manning’ fanzine crew. When doing the reserve team articles for the fanzine, (Lucky Hat) Tony bylined it Grandaddy. When I moved down here and got involved in the Church football team, we needed a nickname for the t-shirts. They chose Grandad, thinking they were being original, mainly as I'm a good 20 years older than most of my team mates. The Banging with Manning fanzine was the baby of Tony and Wayne, I just wrote the odd article for it. This led to invites to reserve team socials though!”
WHO DO YOU PLAY FOR IN CHELTENHAM “Cheltenham Trinity FC who play in both Cotswolds Churches League, and the National Christian Cup. The latter has it's final at Northampton Town's ground, though we have never got past second round, usually losing after a game in Liverpool, or deepest Wales! I play, usually as an impact sub, and act as logistics manager (booking pitches and referees, and collecting and banking match fees).”
IS THIS CHURCH LEAGUE ALL FAIR PLAY AND NO SWEARING OR DOES IT GET OUT OF HAND SOMETIMES? “It’s meant to be fair play based, but can get way out of hand. I managed our team earlier this season, had one sent off, lucky not to be two! You do not have to go to church to play in the league, it’s all about showing non-Christians that Christians can be competitive and have a good time as well, so friends, work mates, etc all welcome. Having said that our guy who was sent off works full time for the church!”
YOU LIVE IN CHELTENHAM NOW WHY DON’T YOU SUPPORT THEM? We moved here in autumn 1997, the season before Cheltenham and Slough were in the Conference. I could not follow a team that I'd been "slagging off" that recently. Also Slough is my home area, and do not want to lose that connection. Seen Cheltenham once, next door neighbour paid, started a one man chorus of Slough Town reject to Steve Book!”
DO YOU GO AND WATCH ANY OTHER LOCAL NON LEAGUE TEAMS?“Have visited loads of local grounds over last ten years, but for last five seasons if free have seen Bishops Cleeve both home and away. Bishop's Cleeve are in the Southern League Midland Division, ie same level as us. Gates average around 120, but decimated if Cheltenham home or local, as Cleeve is to Cheltenham what Burnham is to Slough, basically a suburb. Take around 20 away, depending on distance. Most of squad are local kids who came through either youth team, or local lower league sides, way we should go! Currently just outside play off spot.”
TELL US ABOUT YOUR CONSERVATION WORK“It’s for Cotswolds Voluntary Wardens, which is volunteer arm of Cotswolds Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty Board. Work involves footpath clearance, hedgelaying, dry stone walling, scrub clearnce from grassland. I am also vice chairman of Central District Voluntary Wardens.”
BACK TO FOOTBALL, WHAT ARE FAVOURITE MEMORIES FOR STFC “Supporters Conference in Brighton in 1987 and drinking too much. The Conference was a national federation of supporters clubs. I sort of gate crashed social side, as I stayed in a flat in Hove belonging to the gran of my girlfriend at the time. Away trips in the Conference and the Birmingham FA Cup game, especially the second half.”
WHO ARE/WERE YOUR FAVOURITE PLAYERS“Geoff Anthoney, Mark Quanina, Jeff Bateman, Brian Lee.”
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SOUTHERN LEAGUE SO FAR“Poorer than Isthmian, but more physical. It takes about an hour and quarter to get to Beaconsfield but I like their ground as it is on a junction of the M40. I wanted Slough in the Midland division, as nearest game would have been ten minutes at Bishop's Cleeve!”
WHAT GROUNDS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO “Anywhere away in Gloucestershire.”
HOPES FOR THE FUTURE“Survival, consolidation, slowly move upwards as circumstances allow.”
WHY DO YOU SUPPORT SLOUGH “In 1986 I split up with my fiancée, needed support of friends and been going ever since!”
WHO DO YOU COME TO GAMES WITH “The old ‘Banging with Manning’ fanzine crew. When doing the reserve team articles for the fanzine, (Lucky Hat) Tony bylined it Grandaddy. When I moved down here and got involved in the Church football team, we needed a nickname for the t-shirts. They chose Grandad, thinking they were being original, mainly as I'm a good 20 years older than most of my team mates. The Banging with Manning fanzine was the baby of Tony and Wayne, I just wrote the odd article for it. This led to invites to reserve team socials though!”
WHO DO YOU PLAY FOR IN CHELTENHAM “Cheltenham Trinity FC who play in both Cotswolds Churches League, and the National Christian Cup. The latter has it's final at Northampton Town's ground, though we have never got past second round, usually losing after a game in Liverpool, or deepest Wales! I play, usually as an impact sub, and act as logistics manager (booking pitches and referees, and collecting and banking match fees).”
IS THIS CHURCH LEAGUE ALL FAIR PLAY AND NO SWEARING OR DOES IT GET OUT OF HAND SOMETIMES? “It’s meant to be fair play based, but can get way out of hand. I managed our team earlier this season, had one sent off, lucky not to be two! You do not have to go to church to play in the league, it’s all about showing non-Christians that Christians can be competitive and have a good time as well, so friends, work mates, etc all welcome. Having said that our guy who was sent off works full time for the church!”
YOU LIVE IN CHELTENHAM NOW WHY DON’T YOU SUPPORT THEM? We moved here in autumn 1997, the season before Cheltenham and Slough were in the Conference. I could not follow a team that I'd been "slagging off" that recently. Also Slough is my home area, and do not want to lose that connection. Seen Cheltenham once, next door neighbour paid, started a one man chorus of Slough Town reject to Steve Book!”
DO YOU GO AND WATCH ANY OTHER LOCAL NON LEAGUE TEAMS?“Have visited loads of local grounds over last ten years, but for last five seasons if free have seen Bishops Cleeve both home and away. Bishop's Cleeve are in the Southern League Midland Division, ie same level as us. Gates average around 120, but decimated if Cheltenham home or local, as Cleeve is to Cheltenham what Burnham is to Slough, basically a suburb. Take around 20 away, depending on distance. Most of squad are local kids who came through either youth team, or local lower league sides, way we should go! Currently just outside play off spot.”
TELL US ABOUT YOUR CONSERVATION WORK“It’s for Cotswolds Voluntary Wardens, which is volunteer arm of Cotswolds Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty Board. Work involves footpath clearance, hedgelaying, dry stone walling, scrub clearnce from grassland. I am also vice chairman of Central District Voluntary Wardens.”
BACK TO FOOTBALL, WHAT ARE FAVOURITE MEMORIES FOR STFC “Supporters Conference in Brighton in 1987 and drinking too much. The Conference was a national federation of supporters clubs. I sort of gate crashed social side, as I stayed in a flat in Hove belonging to the gran of my girlfriend at the time. Away trips in the Conference and the Birmingham FA Cup game, especially the second half.”
WHO ARE/WERE YOUR FAVOURITE PLAYERS“Geoff Anthoney, Mark Quanina, Jeff Bateman, Brian Lee.”
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SOUTHERN LEAGUE SO FAR“Poorer than Isthmian, but more physical. It takes about an hour and quarter to get to Beaconsfield but I like their ground as it is on a junction of the M40. I wanted Slough in the Midland division, as nearest game would have been ten minutes at Bishop's Cleeve!”
WHAT GROUNDS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO “Anywhere away in Gloucestershire.”
HOPES FOR THE FUTURE“Survival, consolidation, slowly move upwards as circumstances allow.”
Fave Music
Just for fun I thought that I would list my favourite 25 pieces of music. They are not in any particular order. The reasons for their inclusion vary, though all have influenced me in one shape or form, be it “our song”, formative years music, or pieces that have got me through tough times, or just because I think they are good. Those who have known me for years will know why some are there, at least one is by a group I do not like, but think the chosen track is awesome.
Lynyrd Skynard Freebird
Queen Bohemian Rhapsody
Meatloaf Bat out of hell
Scorpions Since you came into my life
Terraplane Talking to myself
Alan Parsons Project Ammonia Avenue
Styx Dear John
Styx Renegade
Styx Best of times
John Miles Music is my first love
Elvis Costello Allison
Elvis Costello Oliver’s army
Specials Ghost town
Alice Cooper Poison
Guns & Roses Sweet child of mine
Chris de Burgh Don’t pay the ferryman
Cheap Trick Surrender
Aerosmith Rag doll
Black Sabbath Paranoid
Ozzy Osbourne Bark at the moon
Metallica Nothing else matters
Deep Purple Child of our time
Toto Africa
Rush Trees
Iron Maiden Run to the hills
You may not like them, but for better or worse they helped make me who I am today!
Lynyrd Skynard Freebird
Queen Bohemian Rhapsody
Meatloaf Bat out of hell
Scorpions Since you came into my life
Terraplane Talking to myself
Alan Parsons Project Ammonia Avenue
Styx Dear John
Styx Renegade
Styx Best of times
John Miles Music is my first love
Elvis Costello Allison
Elvis Costello Oliver’s army
Specials Ghost town
Alice Cooper Poison
Guns & Roses Sweet child of mine
Chris de Burgh Don’t pay the ferryman
Cheap Trick Surrender
Aerosmith Rag doll
Black Sabbath Paranoid
Ozzy Osbourne Bark at the moon
Metallica Nothing else matters
Deep Purple Child of our time
Toto Africa
Rush Trees
Iron Maiden Run to the hills
You may not like them, but for better or worse they helped make me who I am today!
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