Show Me the Way

The main problem with recuperating from pneumonia, especially in the beginning, is the sheer lack of energy and enthusiasm for anything. The problem now, is that having been told to rest and not over do it for a couple of months, is that I am bored with doing nothing. I want to be active, I have never been the fittest person alive, and could do with losing some weight (even more so now having done nothing for two months!) but I want to be running, jumping, and generally being me again. I was desperate to play football again this week, but bowed to my wife's no! We have both been shaken up by this, especially in light of the fact that Frank Lampard's mother died from it in hospital. In that respect I can count myself blessed that it was caught in time, and treated by tablets at home.

As I had no strength at all for a few weeks, even the corner shop five minutes walk away was too much of a struggle, I had to rest up. That is something I find very hard. I had to rely on other people to do some of my jobs for me, so I started to feel redundant. When I am feeling low, I sometimes start to question things and get disillusioned with life. I have always managed to cling onto my faith, and God has again given me his strength to carry on, when I had none of my own. I have been prompted to read Total Forgiveness by RT Kendall, and Listening to God by Joyce Huggett, both of which have helped me to re-focus my mind. My illusions were further washed away by an awesome Hungry for God night at Trinity this last week. I have often found in the last six weeks the words of Show Me the Way buzzing around my head. Whereas it was not written from a Christian perspective, I find it greatly re-assuring. God does show us the way, He does give us signs to direct us, and He will wash our confusion away. Being a Christian for me is about asking God for the courage and strength to believe that some day I'll get there.

"Every night I say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven And every day I'm more confused as the saints turn into sinners All the heroes and legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay And I feel this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith

Show me the way, show me the way Take me tonight to the river And wash my illusions away Show me the way

And as I slowly drift to sleep, for a moment dreams are sacred I close my eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred That I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to go And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't know

Show me the way, Show me the way Take me tonight to the mountain And wash my confusion away

And if I feel light, should I believe Tell me how will I know
Show me the way, show me the way Take me tonight to the river And wash my illusions away Show me the way, show me the way Give me the strength and the courage To believe that I'll get there someday Show me the way
Every night I say a prayer In the hope that there's a heaven..."