As we approach the turn of yet another year, how are we feeling. For me it is not only the years that are flying by, but the decades as well, it does not seem to be nine years since the panic about the millennium bug was about. I for one do not do new years resolutions, well not since I found they were impossible to keep many years ago. So how am I feeling approaching 2009?
This is not a question about the general state of my health, which is fair to middling at the moment, more about a general state of mind. When you get to my age, you have seen and experienced many things, both good and bad. Since I left school nearly thirty years ago I have witnessed recessions, wars, natural disasters, man made disasters, starvation in countless different countries, and much more of a similar nature. I have also seen economic boom times, the release of Nelson Mandela, the fall of both communism and the Berlin Wall, and other good news stories.
The question is, how do we react to the stories we hear? In this day and age, there is 24 hour media saturation, of both "proper" news events, and of the cult of "personality". As I write the next Celebrity Big Brother is almost upon us, as if anyone really cares, and will undoubtedly fill the tabloids for the next few weeks.
I don't know about you, but I find myself almost becoming immune to the stories happening around me, both good and bad. It is if I have heard and seen it all before. You could say I have become comfortably numb. I need to be shaken out of my comfort zone, and be forced to react to the events that are happening around me. The world at the moment is in a mess. I need to see this and react with compassion and integrity. I need God to shake me to intercede in prayer. I need to seek God's truth amongst the siren calls of the world. I need to wait on God to find what His calling on my life is to be.
My prayer at the changing of the years is that none of us remain comfortably numb, but that we all strive to live the way God would want us to.
The title of this post is taken from the Pink Floyd song of the same name. This is a band which I used to not like at all, but have found growing on me in a big way in recent years. This clip is taken from their concert at Earls court in 1994.
Tuesday 30 December 2008
Wednesday 24 December 2008
The Word
The Word was first,
the Word present to God,
God present to the Word.
The Word was God,
in readiness for God from day one.
Everything was created through him;
nothing -not one thing!-
came into being without him.
What came into existence was Life,
and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
the darkness couldn't put it out.
John 1: 1-5 (Message Version)
the Word present to God,
God present to the Word.
The Word was God,
in readiness for God from day one.
Everything was created through him;
nothing -not one thing!-
came into being without him.
What came into existence was Life,
and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
the darkness couldn't put it out.
John 1: 1-5 (Message Version)
A Life Defined By.........Music
Music was my first love
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
To live without my music
Would be impossible to do
In this world of troubles
My music pulls me through
Music was my first love
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
And music of the past
And music of the past
Those words from John Miles say it all really, but I will add a few more thoughts on the subject.
In life everything is always changing, relationships, friendships, jobs, where you live, all come and go. An individual's relationship with God is often changing too, either nearer or further away, as the old billboard said, "If God seems far away, guess who's moved".
I would expect that my relationships with God, my wife and boys, and friends will continue to grow and strengthen, however, I know from experience that things do and can change. In my life, the one constant has been music, or specifically the ability of music to touch me where I am at any given moment. I know that as a Christian the one constant should be God, but as mentioned above, our relationship with Him is always changing. His with us, however, is always constant, a subtle but significant difference. I suppose that you could argue that God gave the ability to the song writers and musicians in the first place, so it is He that is reaching for us in that way.
So there you have it, my life as defined by music, ten pieces of music that define where I have come from. They are certainly not my ten favourite pieces of music, but they have all been highly significant in some way or another. As life goes on, so does the musical journey, and undoubtedly down the years other significant events will always be associated with certain pieces of music.
To conclude then here is Music as performed by John Miles.
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
To live without my music
Would be impossible to do
In this world of troubles
My music pulls me through
Music was my first love
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
And music of the past
And music of the past
Those words from John Miles say it all really, but I will add a few more thoughts on the subject.
In life everything is always changing, relationships, friendships, jobs, where you live, all come and go. An individual's relationship with God is often changing too, either nearer or further away, as the old billboard said, "If God seems far away, guess who's moved".
I would expect that my relationships with God, my wife and boys, and friends will continue to grow and strengthen, however, I know from experience that things do and can change. In my life, the one constant has been music, or specifically the ability of music to touch me where I am at any given moment. I know that as a Christian the one constant should be God, but as mentioned above, our relationship with Him is always changing. His with us, however, is always constant, a subtle but significant difference. I suppose that you could argue that God gave the ability to the song writers and musicians in the first place, so it is He that is reaching for us in that way.
So there you have it, my life as defined by music, ten pieces of music that define where I have come from. They are certainly not my ten favourite pieces of music, but they have all been highly significant in some way or another. As life goes on, so does the musical journey, and undoubtedly down the years other significant events will always be associated with certain pieces of music.
To conclude then here is Music as performed by John Miles.
A Life Defined By Music - I Survive
I was originally going to call this one Talking To Myself, but could not find any clips of it all, so having to use another Terraplane tack instead, the title of which is also apt in a way. For those that do not know, three of Terraplane went on to form Thunder, currently one of the UK's best rock bands.
Married life has been, and hopefully always will be, wonderful. That is not to say that life has always been a bed of roses. After a few years of married life my job was moved from Maidenhead (6 miles away) to just south of London Bridge. The daily commute of leaving home just before seven in the morning, and getting back at just gone seven at night, on a good day, gradually ground me down. More often than not, I'd come home, have some food, and go straight out to some Church event such as outreach football, or a leadership meeting. The lack of time to recharge my batteries took a toll on my well being, though I was the only one who could not see it!
In 1994 I took a job working for a brokers twenty minutes walk from home. It should have been ideal, but after one day I wanted to walk out. I lasted a year somehow. The boss was very old school, and despite having fourteen years experience I was not allowed to do anything without referral to him. Not good for my health either! I left with no job to go to, but with peace of mind.
We moved down here in 1997. Our first boy was born in September, two months early, with slight heart problems. Our second boy was born in April 2003, the day before my Mum died following a stroke a week or so earlier.
In December 2005 my Aunt, my Dad's sister died. My brother and I had to clear out her room at the nursing home she had lived in. We came across bags containing all the letters she had received going back years. This for no apparent reason set off in me a period of deep sadness, loneliness, and of insecurity.
I still do not work in the accepted sense of the word, but have chosen to be the primary carer for our sons, and doing voluntary conservation work in the countryside.
If you have been following all the posts in this mini series so far, you will have realised that the last 22 years have seen some highs and some pretty deep lows for me. With hindsight, this has led me to have bouts of what could be described as depression. I have also been wrestling internally with choices I have made over the years. I also wish I could alter events that are long gone, that I was not even present at when they did happen. This by the way is why the original title of this thread would have fitted slightly better. As a Christian I KNOW and ACCEPT that God has forgiven and forgotten all that I worry about, but for some reason I find it hard to let go myself. I still have feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, but to take the title of this song out of context though, thanks to God, family and close friends - I Survive!
Married life has been, and hopefully always will be, wonderful. That is not to say that life has always been a bed of roses. After a few years of married life my job was moved from Maidenhead (6 miles away) to just south of London Bridge. The daily commute of leaving home just before seven in the morning, and getting back at just gone seven at night, on a good day, gradually ground me down. More often than not, I'd come home, have some food, and go straight out to some Church event such as outreach football, or a leadership meeting. The lack of time to recharge my batteries took a toll on my well being, though I was the only one who could not see it!
In 1994 I took a job working for a brokers twenty minutes walk from home. It should have been ideal, but after one day I wanted to walk out. I lasted a year somehow. The boss was very old school, and despite having fourteen years experience I was not allowed to do anything without referral to him. Not good for my health either! I left with no job to go to, but with peace of mind.
We moved down here in 1997. Our first boy was born in September, two months early, with slight heart problems. Our second boy was born in April 2003, the day before my Mum died following a stroke a week or so earlier.
In December 2005 my Aunt, my Dad's sister died. My brother and I had to clear out her room at the nursing home she had lived in. We came across bags containing all the letters she had received going back years. This for no apparent reason set off in me a period of deep sadness, loneliness, and of insecurity.
I still do not work in the accepted sense of the word, but have chosen to be the primary carer for our sons, and doing voluntary conservation work in the countryside.
If you have been following all the posts in this mini series so far, you will have realised that the last 22 years have seen some highs and some pretty deep lows for me. With hindsight, this has led me to have bouts of what could be described as depression. I have also been wrestling internally with choices I have made over the years. I also wish I could alter events that are long gone, that I was not even present at when they did happen. This by the way is why the original title of this thread would have fitted slightly better. As a Christian I KNOW and ACCEPT that God has forgiven and forgotten all that I worry about, but for some reason I find it hard to let go myself. I still have feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, but to take the title of this song out of context though, thanks to God, family and close friends - I Survive!
Tuesday 23 December 2008
A Life Defined By Music - Run To The Hills
Let's get this straight, I do not even like Iron Maiden, but sometimes you have to endure what you do not like for the greater good, but more of that later.
Following on from the Brothers in Arms post, life plodded on rather automatically for a few years. I started a relationship with a girl, which with hindsight was never going to go anywhere, but was fun at the time. My Grandfather died in 1987, and after a long illness my Grandmother in 1988, both never got over the loss of their son, my Dad.
The Church that I attended at the time had a history of putting on pantomimes in the new year, and for some odd reason, I was a regular cast member, as was Phil. In 1988 someone dropped out at the last minute, and was replaced by a very attractive young rock chick looking girl! As I've said, I was going out with someone at the time, but she took my breath away at first sight. I assumed she was out of my league, and was not going to do anything about it, till Phil said he liked her too and was going to ask her out. Why we are still mates is beyond me, as that was my cue to offer her a lift home after rehearsal that night. She says she only agreed as the heel of her boot was broken! I asked her out and the rest is history!
I could not believe that someone that lovely would be interested in me, so I took a while to call off the other relationship, as I was convinced this one would not take off, and was hedging my bets. She was planning on going to the Monsters of Rock Festival at Donnington with some friends from college, so I quickly offered to take her, before anyone else had the chance to. Iron Maiden were headlining, who I still do not really like, but can listen to bits of. The festival was an experience, good showmanship, very loud, and for the most part enjoyable, though I was aware of the possibility of hassle as the darkness drew in. The main recollection is of stopping at Leicester Fosse Service Station on the M1 at one in the morning for breakfast, and it being packed out with others who had the same idea.
In the spring of this year, we were walking by a disused church on the banks of the River Thames. The grass was damp from recent rain. I said something along the lines of "If it wasn't so wet, I might be stupid enough to go down on my knee and ask you to marry me". To which she replied "If you did, I might be stupid enough to say yes". We got married the next February!
She does not like to have her photo taken at all, so most of those I have are taken without her knowing. My favourite image from that time, is of her having climbed up a fallen over tree by Virginia Water, whilst wearing jeans and a Motorhead tshirt, and with what I call a rock chick hair style.
I had to choose an Iron Maiden track for this post, and Run to the Hills is my favourite track by them, whether they played it at Donnington or not I have no idea. This version is from a live show in Sweden in 2005.
Following on from the Brothers in Arms post, life plodded on rather automatically for a few years. I started a relationship with a girl, which with hindsight was never going to go anywhere, but was fun at the time. My Grandfather died in 1987, and after a long illness my Grandmother in 1988, both never got over the loss of their son, my Dad.
The Church that I attended at the time had a history of putting on pantomimes in the new year, and for some odd reason, I was a regular cast member, as was Phil. In 1988 someone dropped out at the last minute, and was replaced by a very attractive young rock chick looking girl! As I've said, I was going out with someone at the time, but she took my breath away at first sight. I assumed she was out of my league, and was not going to do anything about it, till Phil said he liked her too and was going to ask her out. Why we are still mates is beyond me, as that was my cue to offer her a lift home after rehearsal that night. She says she only agreed as the heel of her boot was broken! I asked her out and the rest is history!
I could not believe that someone that lovely would be interested in me, so I took a while to call off the other relationship, as I was convinced this one would not take off, and was hedging my bets. She was planning on going to the Monsters of Rock Festival at Donnington with some friends from college, so I quickly offered to take her, before anyone else had the chance to. Iron Maiden were headlining, who I still do not really like, but can listen to bits of. The festival was an experience, good showmanship, very loud, and for the most part enjoyable, though I was aware of the possibility of hassle as the darkness drew in. The main recollection is of stopping at Leicester Fosse Service Station on the M1 at one in the morning for breakfast, and it being packed out with others who had the same idea.
In the spring of this year, we were walking by a disused church on the banks of the River Thames. The grass was damp from recent rain. I said something along the lines of "If it wasn't so wet, I might be stupid enough to go down on my knee and ask you to marry me". To which she replied "If you did, I might be stupid enough to say yes". We got married the next February!
She does not like to have her photo taken at all, so most of those I have are taken without her knowing. My favourite image from that time, is of her having climbed up a fallen over tree by Virginia Water, whilst wearing jeans and a Motorhead tshirt, and with what I call a rock chick hair style.
I had to choose an Iron Maiden track for this post, and Run to the Hills is my favourite track by them, whether they played it at Donnington or not I have no idea. This version is from a live show in Sweden in 2005.
Monday 22 December 2008
A Life Defined By Music - Brothers In Arms
1986 was a pretty bad year, and within it April was a pretty crap month. In the year as a whole I had three jobs, two close family funerals, and one broken engagement!
At the start of the year, I decided that it was time to move on from the insurance company I had been working for since 1980. Their attitude towards promotion was that the longer you've been here, the further you will go, irrespective of ability. Finding every promotion blocked due to this, I looked for jobs elsewhere. I found one working for an insurance broker in Slough High Street, thus saving the train fare to Ealing as well. I was due to start at the beginning of April. The night before my last day at the old job, my Nan (my Mother's step mum) died.
I start a new job, and have to take time off straight away for a funeral, this did not go down well. Despite knowing that I had worked for an insurance company only, I was expected to know the ins and outs of the broking trade with next to no training. This was to prove impossible, and they let me go in under three weeks! To say I was hacked off would be an understatement! It proved, however, to be a blessing in disguise, or God's providence, depending on how you look at it.
Sunday April 27th 1986, I'll remember it forever. A normal Sunday really, well it was at lunchtime when I had a slight disagreement with my Dad. Him and Mum, who were both scout leaders then went off to a St.George's day parade, whilst I did whatever I was doing for the rest of that day. The disagreement was my fault, so I thought I'd make it up with him, by shouting us a Chinese for tea later. I never got the chance! After the parade, they went to my Grandparents to cut the grass for them. Dad had a heart attack and died at his parents' house. The first I knew of it was when Mum was driven home by a family friend, the wife of one of our ministers. I assumed it was one of my Grandparents. I was devastated, especially as my last conversation had been a heated one. I never had the chance to say sorry, or to thank him for everything he had done for me over the years. Mum lost both her step Mum and husband within three weeks of each other. The funeral was hard for all who went to it. Two ministers from the church took the service, as neither thought they would get through it on their own! My Grandfather managed somehow to say some of the words at the grave side for the internment of the ashes, as he was a lay preacher.
The blessing I mentioned earlier, was that I was at home to help look after Mum, when my brother went back up to university. I found another broking job a month later, doing maternity cover, which lasted another six years.
Things like my brother's graduation and Christmas were very strange, as an important person was missing.
In December my girlfriend decided to break things off, just after we put down a deposit for an engagement ring. A pretty crap year all round really.
A few things made the year bearable. As a family we really found out who our friends were. Sometimes when you do not know what to say, just being there is enough! Others could not even do that, and contact was lost. I know you are reading this Phil, thanks again for everything mate! With hindsight, we worked out that you knew of Dad's death before I did, but you did not ring to console or anything, till you knew that I had seen my Mum. That means a lot to me, as did you picking up the pieces again in December. We've been through a lot together, as have our two families, long may it continue, even though you are now stateside.
A moral from this year, is always tell the ones you love, that you do when you part, or it may just be too late.
The other thing that kept me going, in the moments of tears in my bedroom, was the Dire Straits album Brothers In Arms. For no real reason, every song on it spoke to me, the title track in particular. So here it is, dedicated to those who I have loved who are no longer here, and to Phil my "brother in arms".
At the start of the year, I decided that it was time to move on from the insurance company I had been working for since 1980. Their attitude towards promotion was that the longer you've been here, the further you will go, irrespective of ability. Finding every promotion blocked due to this, I looked for jobs elsewhere. I found one working for an insurance broker in Slough High Street, thus saving the train fare to Ealing as well. I was due to start at the beginning of April. The night before my last day at the old job, my Nan (my Mother's step mum) died.
I start a new job, and have to take time off straight away for a funeral, this did not go down well. Despite knowing that I had worked for an insurance company only, I was expected to know the ins and outs of the broking trade with next to no training. This was to prove impossible, and they let me go in under three weeks! To say I was hacked off would be an understatement! It proved, however, to be a blessing in disguise, or God's providence, depending on how you look at it.
Sunday April 27th 1986, I'll remember it forever. A normal Sunday really, well it was at lunchtime when I had a slight disagreement with my Dad. Him and Mum, who were both scout leaders then went off to a St.George's day parade, whilst I did whatever I was doing for the rest of that day. The disagreement was my fault, so I thought I'd make it up with him, by shouting us a Chinese for tea later. I never got the chance! After the parade, they went to my Grandparents to cut the grass for them. Dad had a heart attack and died at his parents' house. The first I knew of it was when Mum was driven home by a family friend, the wife of one of our ministers. I assumed it was one of my Grandparents. I was devastated, especially as my last conversation had been a heated one. I never had the chance to say sorry, or to thank him for everything he had done for me over the years. Mum lost both her step Mum and husband within three weeks of each other. The funeral was hard for all who went to it. Two ministers from the church took the service, as neither thought they would get through it on their own! My Grandfather managed somehow to say some of the words at the grave side for the internment of the ashes, as he was a lay preacher.
The blessing I mentioned earlier, was that I was at home to help look after Mum, when my brother went back up to university. I found another broking job a month later, doing maternity cover, which lasted another six years.
Things like my brother's graduation and Christmas were very strange, as an important person was missing.
In December my girlfriend decided to break things off, just after we put down a deposit for an engagement ring. A pretty crap year all round really.
A few things made the year bearable. As a family we really found out who our friends were. Sometimes when you do not know what to say, just being there is enough! Others could not even do that, and contact was lost. I know you are reading this Phil, thanks again for everything mate! With hindsight, we worked out that you knew of Dad's death before I did, but you did not ring to console or anything, till you knew that I had seen my Mum. That means a lot to me, as did you picking up the pieces again in December. We've been through a lot together, as have our two families, long may it continue, even though you are now stateside.
A moral from this year, is always tell the ones you love, that you do when you part, or it may just be too late.
The other thing that kept me going, in the moments of tears in my bedroom, was the Dire Straits album Brothers In Arms. For no real reason, every song on it spoke to me, the title track in particular. So here it is, dedicated to those who I have loved who are no longer here, and to Phil my "brother in arms".
A Life Defined By Music - Sunday, Bloody Sunday
This one is not about a specific event as such, but the realisation that it could be "cool" to be a Christian. To me it appeared that gradually some well known artists were "coming out of the closet" and publicly declaring their Christianity. These included Bob Dylan, Nick Beggs from Kajagoogoo, and Mike Peters from The Alarm. In addition to two previously mentioned bands After The Fire and Stryper. The Greenbelt festival was getting mentioned in the mainstream news media, as a comparison to the problems at events such as Reading.
Suddenly out of nowhere the band U2 appeared on my radar. I must admit that I have not been over keen on their more recent stuff, but the first few albums blew me away. To my mind Sunday, Bloody Sunday is the best track they have ever done, which is why I have included it in this series. This version is from a live concert at Slane Castle.
Suddenly out of nowhere the band U2 appeared on my radar. I must admit that I have not been over keen on their more recent stuff, but the first few albums blew me away. To my mind Sunday, Bloody Sunday is the best track they have ever done, which is why I have included it in this series. This version is from a live concert at Slane Castle.
Thursday 18 December 2008
Back in the land of the living
Well our home computer is, with no thanks to pc world, and many thanks to Computer Cellar. I on the other hand, have been suffering for a few days with one of the many things doing the rounds at the moment. Will try to get back on here properly next week.
Friday 5 December 2008
Communication Breakdown
Not the title of an in depth post on society today, but a regrettable fact. Our home PC has "died" for the moment. It has been down for a week so far, and we are not likely to be "live" again at home for another week. I am playing catch up with emails and the like down at the local library, but can not do all that I would like to be able to. Hopefully normal service will be resumed shortly, as I'm itching to carry on the A Life Defined By Music series.
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