Comfortably Numb

As we approach the turn of yet another year, how are we feeling. For me it is not only the years that are flying by, but the decades as well, it does not seem to be nine years since the panic about the millennium bug was about. I for one do not do new years resolutions, well not since I found they were impossible to keep many years ago. So how am I feeling approaching 2009?

This is not a question about the general state of my health, which is fair to middling at the moment, more about a general state of mind. When you get to my age, you have seen and experienced many things, both good and bad. Since I left school nearly thirty years ago I have witnessed recessions, wars, natural disasters, man made disasters, starvation in countless different countries, and much more of a similar nature. I have also seen economic boom times, the release of Nelson Mandela, the fall of both communism and the Berlin Wall, and other good news stories.

The question is, how do we react to the stories we hear? In this day and age, there is 24 hour media saturation, of both "proper" news events, and of the cult of "personality". As I write the next Celebrity Big Brother is almost upon us, as if anyone really cares, and will undoubtedly fill the tabloids for the next few weeks.

I don't know about you, but I find myself almost becoming immune to the stories happening around me, both good and bad. It is if I have heard and seen it all before. You could say I have become comfortably numb. I need to be shaken out of my comfort zone, and be forced to react to the events that are happening around me. The world at the moment is in a mess. I need to see this and react with compassion and integrity. I need God to shake me to intercede in prayer. I need to seek God's truth amongst the siren calls of the world. I need to wait on God to find what His calling on my life is to be.

My prayer at the changing of the years is that none of us remain comfortably numb, but that we all strive to live the way God would want us to.

The title of this post is taken from the Pink Floyd song of the same name. This is a band which I used to not like at all, but have found growing on me in a big way in recent years. This clip is taken from their concert at Earls court in 1994.

The Word

The Word was first,
the Word present to God,
God present to the Word.
The Word was God,
in readiness for God from day one.

Everything was created through him;
nothing -not one thing!-
came into being without him.

What came into existence was Life,
and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
the darkness couldn't put it out.

John 1: 1-5 (Message Version)

A Life Defined By.........Music

Music was my first love
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past

To live without my music
Would be impossible to do
In this world of troubles
My music pulls me through

Music was my first love
And it will be my last
Music of the future
And music of the past
And music of the past
And music of the past

Those words from John Miles say it all really, but I will add a few more thoughts on the subject.

In life everything is always changing, relationships, friendships, jobs, where you live, all come and go. An individual's relationship with God is often changing too, either nearer or further away, as the old billboard said, "If God seems far away, guess who's moved".

I would expect that my relationships with God, my wife and boys, and friends will continue to grow and strengthen, however, I know from experience that things do and can change. In my life, the one constant has been music, or specifically the ability of music to touch me where I am at any given moment. I know that as a Christian the one constant should be God, but as mentioned above, our relationship with Him is always changing. His with us, however, is always constant, a subtle but significant difference. I suppose that you could argue that God gave the ability to the song writers and musicians in the first place, so it is He that is reaching for us in that way.

So there you have it, my life as defined by music, ten pieces of music that define where I have come from. They are certainly not my ten favourite pieces of music, but they have all been highly significant in some way or another. As life goes on, so does the musical journey, and undoubtedly down the years other significant events will always be associated with certain pieces of music.

To conclude then here is Music as performed by John Miles.

A Life Defined By Music - I Survive

I was originally going to call this one Talking To Myself, but could not find any clips of it all, so having to use another Terraplane tack instead, the title of which is also apt in a way. For those that do not know, three of Terraplane went on to form Thunder, currently one of the UK's best rock bands.

Married life has been, and hopefully always will be, wonderful. That is not to say that life has always been a bed of roses. After a few years of married life my job was moved from Maidenhead (6 miles away) to just south of London Bridge. The daily commute of leaving home just before seven in the morning, and getting back at just gone seven at night, on a good day, gradually ground me down. More often than not, I'd come home, have some food, and go straight out to some Church event such as outreach football, or a leadership meeting. The lack of time to recharge my batteries took a toll on my well being, though I was the only one who could not see it!

In 1994 I took a job working for a brokers twenty minutes walk from home. It should have been ideal, but after one day I wanted to walk out. I lasted a year somehow. The boss was very old school, and despite having fourteen years experience I was not allowed to do anything without referral to him. Not good for my health either! I left with no job to go to, but with peace of mind.

We moved down here in 1997. Our first boy was born in September, two months early, with slight heart problems. Our second boy was born in April 2003, the day before my Mum died following a stroke a week or so earlier.

In December 2005 my Aunt, my Dad's sister died. My brother and I had to clear out her room at the nursing home she had lived in. We came across bags containing all the letters she had received going back years. This for no apparent reason set off in me a period of deep sadness, loneliness, and of insecurity.

I still do not work in the accepted sense of the word, but have chosen to be the primary carer for our sons, and doing voluntary conservation work in the countryside.

If you have been following all the posts in this mini series so far, you will have realised that the last 22 years have seen some highs and some pretty deep lows for me. With hindsight, this has led me to have bouts of what could be described as depression. I have also been wrestling internally with choices I have made over the years. I also wish I could alter events that are long gone, that I was not even present at when they did happen. This by the way is why the original title of this thread would have fitted slightly better. As a Christian I KNOW and ACCEPT that God has forgiven and forgotten all that I worry about, but for some reason I find it hard to let go myself. I still have feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, but to take the title of this song out of context though, thanks to God, family and close friends - I Survive!

A Life Defined By Music - Run To The Hills

Let's get this straight, I do not even like Iron Maiden, but sometimes you have to endure what you do not like for the greater good, but more of that later.

Following on from the Brothers in Arms post, life plodded on rather automatically for a few years. I started a relationship with a girl, which with hindsight was never going to go anywhere, but was fun at the time. My Grandfather died in 1987, and after a long illness my Grandmother in 1988, both never got over the loss of their son, my Dad.

The Church that I attended at the time had a history of putting on pantomimes in the new year, and for some odd reason, I was a regular cast member, as was Phil. In 1988 someone dropped out at the last minute, and was replaced by a very attractive young rock chick looking girl! As I've said, I was going out with someone at the time, but she took my breath away at first sight. I assumed she was out of my league, and was not going to do anything about it, till Phil said he liked her too and was going to ask her out. Why we are still mates is beyond me, as that was my cue to offer her a lift home after rehearsal that night. She says she only agreed as the heel of her boot was broken! I asked her out and the rest is history!

I could not believe that someone that lovely would be interested in me, so I took a while to call off the other relationship, as I was convinced this one would not take off, and was hedging my bets. She was planning on going to the Monsters of Rock Festival at Donnington with some friends from college, so I quickly offered to take her, before anyone else had the chance to. Iron Maiden were headlining, who I still do not really like, but can listen to bits of. The festival was an experience, good showmanship, very loud, and for the most part enjoyable, though I was aware of the possibility of hassle as the darkness drew in. The main recollection is of stopping at Leicester Fosse Service Station on the M1 at one in the morning for breakfast, and it being packed out with others who had the same idea.

In the spring of this year, we were walking by a disused church on the banks of the River Thames. The grass was damp from recent rain. I said something along the lines of "If it wasn't so wet, I might be stupid enough to go down on my knee and ask you to marry me". To which she replied "If you did, I might be stupid enough to say yes". We got married the next February!

She does not like to have her photo taken at all, so most of those I have are taken without her knowing. My favourite image from that time, is of her having climbed up a fallen over tree by Virginia Water, whilst wearing jeans and a Motorhead tshirt, and with what I call a rock chick hair style.

I had to choose an Iron Maiden track for this post, and Run to the Hills is my favourite track by them, whether they played it at Donnington or not I have no idea. This version is from a live show in Sweden in 2005.

A Life Defined By Music - Brothers In Arms

1986 was a pretty bad year, and within it April was a pretty crap month. In the year as a whole I had three jobs, two close family funerals, and one broken engagement!

At the start of the year, I decided that it was time to move on from the insurance company I had been working for since 1980. Their attitude towards promotion was that the longer you've been here, the further you will go, irrespective of ability. Finding every promotion blocked due to this, I looked for jobs elsewhere. I found one working for an insurance broker in Slough High Street, thus saving the train fare to Ealing as well. I was due to start at the beginning of April. The night before my last day at the old job, my Nan (my Mother's step mum) died.

I start a new job, and have to take time off straight away for a funeral, this did not go down well. Despite knowing that I had worked for an insurance company only, I was expected to know the ins and outs of the broking trade with next to no training. This was to prove impossible, and they let me go in under three weeks! To say I was hacked off would be an understatement! It proved, however, to be a blessing in disguise, or God's providence, depending on how you look at it.

Sunday April 27th 1986, I'll remember it forever. A normal Sunday really, well it was at lunchtime when I had a slight disagreement with my Dad. Him and Mum, who were both scout leaders then went off to a St.George's day parade, whilst I did whatever I was doing for the rest of that day. The disagreement was my fault, so I thought I'd make it up with him, by shouting us a Chinese for tea later. I never got the chance! After the parade, they went to my Grandparents to cut the grass for them. Dad had a heart attack and died at his parents' house. The first I knew of it was when Mum was driven home by a family friend, the wife of one of our ministers. I assumed it was one of my Grandparents. I was devastated, especially as my last conversation had been a heated one. I never had the chance to say sorry, or to thank him for everything he had done for me over the years. Mum lost both her step Mum and husband within three weeks of each other. The funeral was hard for all who went to it. Two ministers from the church took the service, as neither thought they would get through it on their own! My Grandfather managed somehow to say some of the words at the grave side for the internment of the ashes, as he was a lay preacher.

The blessing I mentioned earlier, was that I was at home to help look after Mum, when my brother went back up to university. I found another broking job a month later, doing maternity cover, which lasted another six years.

Things like my brother's graduation and Christmas were very strange, as an important person was missing.

In December my girlfriend decided to break things off, just after we put down a deposit for an engagement ring. A pretty crap year all round really.

A few things made the year bearable. As a family we really found out who our friends were. Sometimes when you do not know what to say, just being there is enough! Others could not even do that, and contact was lost. I know you are reading this Phil, thanks again for everything mate! With hindsight, we worked out that you knew of Dad's death before I did, but you did not ring to console or anything, till you knew that I had seen my Mum. That means a lot to me, as did you picking up the pieces again in December. We've been through a lot together, as have our two families, long may it continue, even though you are now stateside.

A moral from this year, is always tell the ones you love, that you do when you part, or it may just be too late.

The other thing that kept me going, in the moments of tears in my bedroom, was the Dire Straits album Brothers In Arms. For no real reason, every song on it spoke to me, the title track in particular. So here it is, dedicated to those who I have loved who are no longer here, and to Phil my "brother in arms".

A Life Defined By Music - Sunday, Bloody Sunday

This one is not about a specific event as such, but the realisation that it could be "cool" to be a Christian. To me it appeared that gradually some well known artists were "coming out of the closet" and publicly declaring their Christianity. These included Bob Dylan, Nick Beggs from Kajagoogoo, and Mike Peters from The Alarm. In addition to two previously mentioned bands After The Fire and Stryper. The Greenbelt festival was getting mentioned in the mainstream news media, as a comparison to the problems at events such as Reading.

Suddenly out of nowhere the band U2 appeared on my radar. I must admit that I have not been over keen on their more recent stuff, but the first few albums blew me away. To my mind Sunday, Bloody Sunday is the best track they have ever done, which is why I have included it in this series. This version is from a live concert at Slane Castle.

Back in the land of the living

Well our home computer is, with no thanks to pc world, and many thanks to Computer Cellar. I on the other hand, have been suffering for a few days with one of the many things doing the rounds at the moment. Will try to get back on here properly next week.

Communication Breakdown

Not the title of an in depth post on society today, but a regrettable fact. Our home PC has "died" for the moment. It has been down for a week so far, and we are not likely to be "live" again at home for another week. I am playing catch up with emails and the like down at the local library, but can not do all that I would like to be able to. Hopefully normal service will be resumed shortly, as I'm itching to carry on the A Life Defined By Music series.

A Life Defined By Music - Ghost Town

Now aged 19 I had been working for an insurance company for a year or so, so had disposable income. Most of which went on football and records, and the occasional girlfriend.

I had been interested in football for as long as I can remember. Not sure how this started, as no one else in my family was remotely interested in sport at all. I first started going to watch Burnham, my home village, from about five or six. Now with money to spend, I wanted to see a "proper" team. I did not fancy going into London, as this was the age of the hooligan problem. I could not drive at this time, so the choice was a team easily accessible by train. This narrowed it down to Brentford, Reading or Oxford. On the day I fancied going, Oxford were at home and the others were away, so the choice was made for me. I was a regular at the London Road End of the Manor Ground for quite a few years. I eventually stopped watching all football for a few years due to severe disillusionment following the likes of Bradford, Heysell, Hillsborough, and the ongoing hooligan problem.

About this time, another musical genre burst onto the scene, in a similar way to punk/new wave a few years before. This was ska as defined by the likes of UB40, The Beat, The Specials, etc. Despite being a rock fan at heart, and the fact that ska was adopted by the mods, I really liked this new sound. The groups had a political message, both in some of the lyrics, but also in the multi cultural make up of the bands. Punk to a certain degree was taken over by the skinhead movement, with racist overtones. Ska was the opposite, all inclusive and upbeat rhythms.

My own political leanings were beginning to awaken. If honest, no one individual political party preaches the message I want to hear, so I have always voted for the one closest to my ideals, in my opinion. Despite my inclination being right of centre, I also hold to some left of centre views. At this time the National Front had hijacked right wing thinking, and I found myself widely reading left wing material. Be this the liberation theology coming out of South America, or the anti racist league stuff over here. Coming from Slough, I was used to a multi cultural background. In Slough we hardly ever had racial violence. Yes there was gang troubles, but always white on white, black on black, or Asian on Asian! I am sort of proud to say that when the National Front marched in town, all three ganged up on them and drove them out.

I was also becoming aware of the major problem of unemployment in the UK at the time. Both in certain parts of Slough, and on the road out of Oxford up towards Headington, there were boarded up shops and houses. A song that for me sums up that period of my life, the confusion of having disposable income to "waste" and of the ever increasing poverty around me, is Ghost Town by The Specials.

It is sad to reflect that the situations that the song talks about, have become more common place again over the last few years, some twenty seven years later.

A Life Defined By Music - Babe

I left school in the November of 1979, having just re-taken some of my "O" levels. Somehow I managed to scrape out with four passes at grade c or above, so not too bad in the end. Trouble is, it was too bad for plan A. This was to be 6th form for "A" levels, then university to study something that I had not worked out at the time. Plan B was needed. I decided to try to get work in the travel agency business, despite countless letters to local firms, nothing materialised. I then saw a post offered via an employment agency, so went to speak to them. They said my qualifications were not of a good enough standard for what I wanted, but had I considered insurance? Whether this was true, or the fact that they had an insurance vacancy to fill I will never know, but hey it got me a job.

I was to start working in Ealing for a major insurance company at the start of January 1980. To kill time, and to get some beer money, I took a holiday job for three weeks with a local freezer company, similar in style to Iceland. This mainly involved running into and out of massive great freezer stores, looking for various different sizes of turkeys! We were provided with protective gloves, but when you are doing it non stop all day, you just go for it in the end.

At this time. I think I would say that my Christian faith was a case of just going through the motions. My best mate got me to go along to a schools Christian Union, or similar, event over the new year period in Sussex. I went, even though I was no longer at school. For probably the first time, things began to make sense, and I "owned" a faith rather that just being there as that was what was expected of me. The ironic thing is that Phil no longer has anything to do with Christianity, but there's always hope mate! At this event, I hooked up with a rather nice girl, and attempted to have a postal relationship with her. As these things tend to do, it soon died a natural death, but it had an indirect major influence on me.

Early in 1980, a romantic ballad called Babe by Styx hit number six in the top forty. It included the following lines:

Babe, I'm leaving, I must be on my way
The time is drawing near
My train is going, I see it in your eyes
The love, the need, your tears
But I'll be lonely without you
And I'll need your love to see me through
Please believe me, my heart is in your hands
And I'll be missing you.

Now to me, these lines had a pertinent ring to them at the time, so I bought two copies of the single, one for her and one for me! I found the B side I'm Okay to be better, so got the two albums that these two songs were on, Cornerstone, and Pieces of Eight. I was hooked, Styx were and still are, in my opinion, an awesome band. Through Styx, I then got into the likes of REO Speedwagon, Foreigner, and the Alan Parsons Project. My appreciation of rock started to widen, so the rest as they say is history.

It is ironic to think, that a song that I now regard as complete and utter garbage got me and Phil into our favourite band, and indirectly got Phil to meet his second wife. As that went pear shaped, I hope he doesn't hold it against me!

So here is the original version of Styx recorded in 1979 singing Babe, which was written by the keyboard player, Dennis de Young, for his wife.

Musical Catch Up (XIII)

This is the last post in this series of catching up with the music for earlier threads. I have not been able to find any or decent videos for Rock & Roll Feeling, Hallelujah Chorus, I Can See For Miles, or The Message. All of those are the Styx versions of those tracks, they may be available by other artists. The other unmusical tracks in the archives are named after album titles.

This last one is a slightly different version of Waiting For Our Time from the Cyclorama album. This version is from a pre-tour documentary, and features three members of Journey, and three from REO Speedwagon, along with Tommy Shaw and James Young, as all three bands toured together.

A Life Defined By Music - Oliver's Army

In the last post, I mentioned that the way I chose to deal with the bullying at school was not my best career move. Instead of knuckling down and studying hard, I took the easy option, that of messing around. That way my grades dropped, but I was left in relative peace. I realised too late that this was not the best way to get the grades needed to do anything half decent. My school had "O" level options that worked against me as well, timetable constraints meant I had to sit two languages and two sciences, both of which are not me. I was not allowed to do two of the subjects I wanted to. As a result I had to resit some exams, but just about got away with a credible outcome.

The years running up to the exams were 1977-79. My memories of this time involve cycling five miles to the next village to play football with my mates. Also spending countless summer afternoons in Windsor, annoying the hell out of the tourists for the fun of it! The Italians were the easiest to wind up if I remember rightly. This was also the time when I first really discovered girls, though unfortunately for me they did not want to discover me! They preferred the idea of friendship with me to anything deeper, if you can be deep as a teenager.

Over this period, there was a sudden and dramatic change in the style of music available. Suddenly the punk and new wave scene took off. It was loud, in your face, and anti-establishment. Whereas I did not get totally immersed in the culture, I did really get bitten by the music. The likes of Blondie, The Jam, The Stranglers, The Undertones, Sex Pistols, Sham '69, The Clash, and The Ramones all found their way into my ever increasing record collection. The best of the lot though, in my opinion, were Elvis Costello and The Attractions. Here was a talented songwriter, with a good voice, doing short sharp incisive lyrics, backed by a equally sharp band. In fact the Armed Forces album is still one of my all time favourites. The artwork featuring the elephant graveyard is also awesome.

Oliver's Army is my favourite track from this era. It is also part of a musical genre unique to me, "music to fail your "O" levels to"!

A Life Defined By Music - Bohemian Rhapsody

Probably the next significant period in my life as defined by music, was the advent of winter in 1975. By now I was 13, and was just completing my first term at the local grammar school. I had been brought up to try to do your best at everything. I was eager to learn all these new subjects that were offered. I was finding out, however, that if you do well at school, you become a target for the bullies. Life was becoming a pain, both literally and metaphorically. With hindsight, the way I reacted then was not the best career move I could have made, but more of that next time.

As mentioned in Crazy Horses, to me the music scene at the time was pretty uninspiring, but out of this came a track that still blows me away today. From amongst the ordinary, came the extraordinary. The constant change of musical style and pace in this track to me was revolutionary. It had everything from opera to heavy rock, all in one song. It even had an accompanying video, nearly unheard of at the time. For many years, this track was my all time favourite, in my fantasy top ten, (since replaced by Freebird, but that's another story, that does not even make this mini series!).

To me this song brings back a sense of escapism from the times at school, it also defined me at the time. As I said, the track has several different styles within it, it could also be said that my life at the time had several different aspects to it. Some of which would appear to be at diverse odds, the same as opera and heavy rock, but all of which fused together somehow to be me at the time.

Nottingham

Just spent a really enjoyable night up in Nottingham, with some fellow members of the Planet Rock forum. For those that do not know Planet rock is the best station you can get via the digital medium. About 20 of us met up for five hours of drinking and conversing in the quaint old pub the Old Sal. It may look quaint, but plenty of real ale and rock music makes it even better! Stayed overnight in the height of luxury which is the Travelodge. What it lacked in style, it made up in the fact that it was two minutes from the pub. Handy when someone spills their beer all over you, could go and change and get back in less than five minutes. Later on, six of us headed on to Rock City. I have not been clubbing for years, if not decades, but it was loud and a cracking atmosphere. I snuck out at 1.30 not being able to hack the pace anymore, found a Subway still open to get some tea, and crept back to sleep.

Great time, thanks to those who organised it, good to meet some new people, and to catch up with some old friends.

There is a link to the Planet Rock forum, on the side of this main page.

Musical Up Date (XII)

Yet another one from the Paradise Theatre album, this one called Lonely People. No video as such, just the album cover for a backdrop. Still a cracking good song, with lyrics to match.

A Life Defined By Music - Crazy Horses

I have unashamedly "borrowed" this idea from some friends of mine, notably Hitchmo and Nai T. On reflection, my life has had some defining moments, all of which have been shaped to some degree by music. Narrowing this mini series of posts down to ten has been hard work, but for what it's worth this is me...

My first real exposure to music was on Top of the Pops, which my parents somewhat reluctantly let me watch from about the age of ten. At that time, 1972, the bands on that show appeared to fall into two or three categories. There was the ballads by people such as Gilbert O'Sullivan, there were the sing along anthems by the like of Wizard and Slade, or the original boy band battle between the Jacksons and the Osmonds. I now know that other genres such as prog rock were in the background, but at the time, to me that was it. The first record I ever bought was Circles by the New Seekers. The second was this - Crazy Horse by the Osmonds.

Yes they were a clean cut teen heart throb group, but this track just grabbed my attention. It was not just another soppy ballad. There was something about it, that made it stand out for me. I love the keyboards in it for example. If asked for the most embarrassing record that I own, my answer is not this one, but I will openly admit to having it. I would go as far as to describe it as a rock track.

So, for me, in a life defined by music, this is the first track that led me to where I am today.

Musical Catch Up (XI)

Every band that ever existed has at least one cheesy Christmas song! This is the Styx one, and goes by the name of All I want.

We Will Remember Them

In this day and age it is not "cool" to observe Remembrance Day. To me, that way of thinking is a load of cobblers. By remembering the sacrifice of those who have given their lives for our freedom, we are not celebrating war and death themselves. To me the act of remembrance is something that I have observed for as long as I can remember. The church I attended as a child, held the town's official service, and now as an adult, I still try to have a time of reflection at 11am on 11th November. It is not just remembering history, but the ongoing situations around the world. I am fortunate, in that I have not lost anyone directly to war, but I am still grateful for those who have defended the liberty of this country.

In my opinion, a greater sacrifice was that made by God, the giving of his only son, Jesus, for the freedom of all mankind. The shame is that not everyone has accepted this gift.

Years ago I bought the book Up the line to death, which is a collection of war poems from 1914-1918. The one that always gets me is by E.A.Mackintosh, who was killed in action in 1916. It is called In Memoriam, and is dedicated to Private David Sutherland, who was killed in action on May 16th 1916, and others who died.

In Memoriam

So you were David's father,
And he was your only son,
And the new-cut peats are rotting
And the work is left undone,
Because of an old man weeping,
Just an old man in pain,
For David, his son David,
That will not come again.

Oh, the letters he wrote you,
And I can see them still,
Not a word of the fighting
But just the sheep on the hill
And how you should get the crops in
Ere the year get stormier,
And the Bosches have got his body,
And I was his officer.

You were only David's father,
But I had fifty sons
When we went up in the evening
Under the arch of the guns,
And we came back at twilight -
O God! I heard them call
To me for help and pity
That could not help at all.

Oh, never will I forget you,
My men that trusted me,
More my sons than your fathers',
For they could only see
The little helpless babies
And the young men in their pride,
They could not see you dying,
And hold you while you died.

Happy and young and gallant,
They saw their first-born go,
But not he strong limbs broken
And the beautiful men bought low,
The piteous writhing bodies,
They screamed "Don't leave me, Sir,"
For they were only your fathers
But I was your officer.


I for one, will continue to remember them for the rest of my life.

Musical Catch Up (X)

Time for On my way, which is one of the bonus tracks on the Return to Paradise album. This track is now used to open most of their shows.

Musical Catch Up (IX)

Back in August, I did a post based on the song Paradise, dedicated to my lovely wife. Have discovered that the song was written for a musical based on the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Whilst the words are still more than applicable, she bears no resemblance to the hunchback! She may be a Welsh dragon at times though, only joking if you are reading this!!

Flippng Freezing Fun

Back in August I mentioned that having done a 5 mile walk with my eldest boy, that he wanted to do a longer one. Well yesterday was the chosen day for the 8 1/2 mile trek. He is now 11 by the way. We followed a way marked circular walk from Crickley Hill which involved crossing the main roads by the Air Balloon, how to add 10 minutes to the journey time. It then proceeded via Cobberley, Seven Springs, Hartley Hill, and Leckhampton Hill back to Crickley Hill. In places the way marking was non existent, adding an extra 1 1/2 miles to the trip in going the wrong way. There was still some snow on the ground in places. On the exposed hill tops, the wind made it feel freezing. It took us four hours to do, which on the face of it is a long time, but given how slippy, wet, and cold it was, we felt to be ok. The scenery was awesome. He loved the fact that he completed it, I loved the fact that he is old enough now to share these walks with me. It was flipping freezing, but it was fun.

Musical Catch Up (VIII)

This one is a much more melodic tune by the name of Just be, which is from the One with everything album. This video was recorded at Artpark, Lewiston, NY in 2006.

Musical Catch Up (VII)

This time it's a track from the Paradise Theatre album, Nothing ever goes as planned. There is no video as such to this track, but found this on youtube. Inkybloc has added stills from the Rockin' the Paradise video to the track.

Weird Sort of Fun

Yesterday was one of those days which was fun, but in a very weird sort of way. Getting up at 6 in the morning, to be on the road by 7 is not my ideal way to start a Saturday morning. Pick up 3 other team members, to start the 150 odd mile trip up to Liverpool for a National Churches Trophy game. At this stage we believe we are only going to have 10 players, including a defender in goal. Meet up with the other 2 cars at Sandbach Services on M6, and find that somehow we have scraped together 11 players, but still a defender in goal. Onward to Liverpool, taking longer to find the ground that necessary, as the lead car's satnav, sent us to the wrong side of the park. The opposition are mainly young fit looking kids, well their all kids compared to me.

The game is played in a hard but reasonably fair competitive spirit, but in rain. We have nearly everyone playing out of their usual position. We eventually lose 8-2 but we were not outplayed by any stretch of the imagination. They really only took control in the last 15-20 minutes, when tiredness set in. Everyone played out of their skins and gave maximum effort all game.

Onto the pub for lunch. This was over the road from Anfield, giving plenty of opportunity for those misguided enough to follow Liverpool to go over and pay homage. Pub was a typical city centre boozer of the old school type, serving lager and commercial beer, no real ale, but was a welcoming place. We were provided with an awesome spread, which was much appreciated.

Back to the M6 for the return journey. 300 odd miles, 8-2 defeat, wet and tired, 9 1/2 hours out.

As I said, it was a fun day, but in a weird sort of way. Thanks to all those who made it such an enjoyable experience.

Grand Ilusion

This one works both ways. As I understand it, this song was written about the greed culture in America in the late 70's, nothings changed then! Various aspects of the spin machine are spending lots of time and money trying to persuade us to buy this or that to make our lives more complete. Our lives will never match up to the images on tv or in the magazines, because they are not real, they are an artist's impression. We can then easily get down on ourselves as we do not appear to match up to a perception of reality.

The other way of looking at it, in my opinion, is that we ourselves are living out a grand illusion. How often do we say "I'm fine" when asked "how are you?". How often do we actually mean either the answer, or the question? Also all too often we hear of someone who at face value has it made, who then admits loads of mistakes which had been well masked. If my life in action and words in public, do not match up with those in private, who am i fooling? The only person who will suffer in the long run is me, though others may be disappointed and feel let down.


Underneath we are all the same, whatever our skin colour, social status, or other man made dividing line. We are all made in God's image, and he sees through all our spin and pain. One day soon we'll stop and ponder, who the hell we are, and when we do hopefully God will reveal that we are his works of beauty, created to do his will.

Grand Illusion

Welcome to the Grand Illusion
Come on in and see what's happening
Pay the price, get your tickets for the show
The stage is set, the band starts playing
Suddenly your heart is pounding
Wishing secretly you were a star.

But don't be fooled by the radio
The TV or the magazines
They show you photographs of how your life should be
But they're just someone else's fantasy
So if you think your life is complete confusion
Because you never win the game
Just remember that it's a Grand illusion
And deep inside we're all the same.
We're all the same...

America spells competition, join us in our blind ambition
Get yourself a brand new motor car
Someday soon we'll stop to ponder what on Earth's this spell we're under
We made the grade and still we wonder who the hell we are


The following clip is again taken from the Return to Paradise tour of 1996.

Musical Catch Up (VI)

This is another tribute song to Jon Ponozzo. The song is called Dear John, and appears as a bonus track at the end of the Return to Paradise album. As I mentioned in the post based on this track, the words can resonate with most people who have lost loved ones. I will ruin my couldn't care less persona by saying this one always brings a lump to my throat.

Musical Catch Up (V)

Again taken from the Return to Paradise tour of 1996, this time it's Show me the way. This is a poignant moment in the show, as dedicated to the late Jon Ponozzo. As a matter of interest the song was originally going to be called Roll me away, and was changed to Show me the way at the suggestion of Chuck Ponozzo, Jon's twin brother.

Scorpions Live

Went to see the Scorpions Sunday night up in Wolverhampton. Amazing gig. The loudness of the sound had the walls and floor vibrating, which if you were leaning on the wall, like I was, led to a really strange feeling! Great to see both Michael Schenker and Uli John Roth both appear with the band, and all of them looking like they were enjoying it too. Was the last night of a short UK tour, support was provided by Uli's band on the night. Uli is a truly amazing guitarist in my opinion. His set was nearly an hour, and the Scorpions played for two hours. Only downer was drum solo was much too long, but gave the others a chance for a break.

They did not play this song, which is much mellower than most of their stuff! As mentioned on a previous post, this is now "our song", even though I only discovered it years after meeting my lovely wife. This video was recorded in Beirut at the end of the civil war there. Enjoy When you came into my life:

Musical Catch Up (IV)

Now to start on the Styx tracks, this is Best of times, and is taken from the 1996 Return to Paradise tour. Despite liking the more recent lineup better, I think this live album is the best overview of Styx for those who do not know them. The CD remains in my car at all times! The original line up minus the then very ill Jon Ponozzo.

Musical Catch Up (III)

Stryper were/are a very under rated band in my opinion. This is a promo video for Soldiers under command:

Musical Catch Up (II)

A live version of Welcome to wherever you are by Bon Jovi, recorded in Washington in December 2005:

Musical Catch Up (I)

Having worked out how to pull music clips into this blog, I thought I would include a few which related to earlier posts. All good music in my opinion. This will be a recurring theme over the next few weeks.

Starting off with One rule for you by After The Fire. Although a late 70's to early 80's band, I found this clip of them performing in 2007 at Farncombe.

Too Much Time On My Hands

Why is it that when you have loads of supposedly spare time, you get nothing done? As a full time dad, with both boys at school, there should be about five hours a day for me to get things done. It doesn't quite work like that! The day to day crappy jobs like the housework bore me to tears, and I really have to force myself to do any of it. I do conservation work in the Cotswold once a fortnight, and try to go for a country walk fortnightly as well. The rest of the time, I check the vital sites on the computer, read the paper, and wonder where the time has gone.

I think that sitting around with too much time on your hands, does tick away at your sanity. It allows time for things that have gone wrong to fester in your head. It allows negative thoughts to multiply and become major issues, instead of minor irritants. It gives time for wrong patterns of lifestyle, such as over eating or lack of exercise, to develop. All these, and more, can seriously damage our health if we let it.

It is much harder, but much more beneficial, to be proactive in time management, for want of a better word. Factor in time to do some of the crappy jobs every other day say, then they will not all gang up on you at once. Reward yourself occasionally for getting these jobs done. Exercise, even when you do not feel like it, as this does help to improve both your health and state of mind. I find all of this hard to do, but I must try harder as my head hurts otherwise.

It is also vital to allow time to listen to God in all of this. He wants us to use our time wisely, and not to fritter it away. Taking time to study God's word, or read an inspiring book, is not a waste of time, but a vital mental exercise. God alone knows how much time each of us has, it is up too us to be good stewards of it.

The song is taken from the Paradise Theatre album.


Too Much Time On My Hands

Sitting on this bar stool talking like a damn fool
Got the twelve o'clock news blues
And I've given up hope on the afternoon soaps
And a bottle of cold brew
Is it any wonder I'm not crazy? Is it any wonder I'm sane at all
Well I'm so tired of losing- I got nothing to do and all day to do it
I go out cruising but I've no place to go and all night to get there
Is it any wonder I'm not a criminal
Is it any wonder I'm not in jail
Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands, it's ticking away with my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands, it's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands and it's ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

Well, I'm a jet fuel genius - I solve all the world's problems
Without even trying
I have dozens of friends and the fun never ends
That is, as long as I'm buying
Is it any wonder I'm not the president
(He's not the president)
Is it any wonder I'm null and void Is it any wonder I've got

Too much time on my hands, it's ticking away at my sanity
I've got too much time on my hands, it's hard to believe such a calamity
I've got too much time on my hands and it's ticking away from me
Too much time on my hands, too much time on my hands
Too much time on my hands

This recording is taken from the Return to Paradise tour in 1996, and has Dennis de Young on keyboards.

Double Life

Following on from the one rule for you thread, this is another one on hypocrisy. The title of this one is a track on the Kilroy was here album. Whereas the lyrics seem to me to refer to a possible sexual dalliance, they could also refer to wider scenarios. How many times do we use little white lies to cover up for something either we have done, or to avoid doing? God sees all we do both in public and in the privacy of our thoughts. The song mentions that the other side of the Berlin Wall is not far enough to hide, well God sees as far as the east is from the west, so there is no hiding place. Most of us, though we will not admit to it, live two different lives. There is the public face, of doing or saying what we think is the right thing in a given situation, then there is what we really wanted to say or do. There is the being seen to do the right things in church on a Sunday, and then having totally different character traits the rest of the week. As Christians we should not have a double life, though as we are only human to a certain extent it may be inevitable. We need to pray that God will give us the strength to stand up and be counted for Him, regardless of the personal cost to us. Easier said than done!


Double Life

In the dark so all alone
Slowly reach for the telephone
A message waits just for you
A secret place, another rendezvous

It's not always honesty
That is the best policy
But little lies can give you away
Though you'll deny it if they say maybe you're just

CHORUS
Leading a double life
Friends in the daytime, strangers at night
Leading a double life
Can it be wrong when you know that it's right?

The other side of the Berlin Wall is
Not far enough to avoid the call
Somebody knows, somebody's seen
Somebody knows right where you've been
And that you're just

CHORUS

Nowhere to hide, though we both might try
I'm schizophrenic, and so am I
Double life, a double life, a masquerade
You know we all live a masquerade
I know you're out there!

CHORUS

Renegade

Most people think of Styx as soft American rock, as their most known song over here is Babe. They are though a decent rock band. Renegade is probably my favourite song by them, and is often used towards the end of their concerts. This recording is from the Wembley date of their 2007 tour in support of Deep Purple, I saw them at Cardiff on the same tour. There are "better" versions around, but I prefer the current line up to that which included Dennis de Young

One Rule For You, One Rule For Me

We all run the risk of saying one thing, and doing another. This does not set a good example to those we are trying to influence. This could be as a parent to a child, as leader to those we are trying to lead, or just to those who come across us in our daily lives. One of the most often used comments against Christianity is that of hypocrisy. We need to be seen to say and do the same thing.

It is not only in public that this matters. God knows what is going on in our hearts. It should matter to us that what we say and do in private match up, with what we say and do in public as well.

In this day and age as well, it is not "cool" to talk about our faith. We should be prepared to say what we think is right, and give reasons to back this if it goes against current thinking. If our faith is real to us, we should be prepared to say so and why. It is "cool" to knock Christianity, we need more people to stand up and be counted for it. I know I for one, run the very real risk of not doing this, as I want a quiet life. The quiet life is not meant to be an option.

The modern world says believe in what makes you feel good, provided you keep it to yourself. The Bible tells us that we are meant to share the Good News that we believe to be right. It is often the case of one rule for you. one rule for me.

The title of this thread is from a song by After The Fire, a band who were vastly under rated in the late 1970's and early 1980's. It is my opinion that if they had not clearly stood up and professed to be Christians, that they would have had more "success" commercially. I think the words can equally apply to the risk of hypocrisy mentioned earlier, as to the do not speak about your faith stance.

One rule for you, one rule for me

What kind of line is that when you say you don't understand a single word
I tell you all these things you turn around and make as if you never heard
What kind of line is that you're giving me
One Rule for you, one rule for me

Too many people try to tell me that I shouldn't say the things I do
I know that you would only do the same if it meant as much too you
What kind of line is that you're giving me
One Rule for you, one rule for me

They say believe in what you like as long as you can keep it to yourself
I say if what I know is right, it's wrong if I don't tell somebody else
What kind of line is that you're giving me
One Rule for you, one rule for me

Not In Control

I really do not like not being in control. I would not say that I am a control freak, rather that I like to be able to do things my way. I like to have a plan, and then be able to follow it through. I want what I think is best for me and my family. I tend to get rather annoyed when things do not work out. This could be simple things like an accident shutting a road, meaning having to go a different route, or things of a more complex nature.

At the moment we are going through the process of "choosing" a senior school for our eldest son. We have "parental choice", we can "choose" up to four preferred options. On the face of it, this is a good thing, however, at the end of the day, the County allocate. They may, or may not, take into account our "choices". We are looking at prospective schools. There is one that we would call our first choice, which to our mind would be ideal for him, both in terms of size and subject specialisms. We can put this and three others down, and then it is out of our hands. Allocation is known next March. Why is it called parental choice?

As I said in the first paragraph, I do not like not being in control. I can so easily slip into headless chicken mode now, at the thought of not getting him into the school of our choice. I know as a Christian I should give it all up to God, and His will be done, and all that. It's not that easy for me, I'm afraid. On this one common sense is not working. Prayer for peace of mind would be appreciated.

I am not in control, but God is! I have to try and trust that what He wants will be for the best, and that it may tie in with what I want.

Waiting For Our Time

When is our time? When is the right time? It seems to me that we can quite often, wait for a more opportune time to do something, rather than grasp the current moment. Well I do anyway! This could refer to wide variety of issues - relationships, career choices, housework (definitely), etc. By nature I am a cautious person, I like to deliberate on something before making a decision. Those that know me will know that football is the exception to this rule, where I say/do first, regret later!

It can be daunting meeting 40 people in a pub for the first time, as I did in Putney Saturday night, but if I had waited till I felt confident about that situation, I probably would never have gone, and met such nice people.

The bible tells us that God is with us at all times, and in all situations. If we believe this to be true, and offer our lives to God in prayer, then anytime could become our time. Yes we can make some bad decisions as well, as God has given us freewill. I find, however, that I have confidence that comes from God when I go his way, and a sense of insecurity when I do not.

The song of this title comes from the Cyclorama album. It is written I assume, about a boy/girl relationship, though some aspects of it can relate to faith as well. Talk of searching, wondering, yearning. Your love has kept my dream alive, a vision of my life, with you here by my side. Still I hold on and wait, I know it's not too late, and still my breeze will come.

I know that I need to stop waiting so much about some things, and just do them in the faith that God will say this is our time.


Waiting For Our Time

Looking up from where I stand
I see the vapor trail
Of a jet plane in the sky

Here the wheel is in my hand
But there’s no wind in my sails
And life is drifting by

Still I hold on and wait
I know it’s not too late
And my breeze will come

Muse you satisfy my soul
Keep me warm while the
Cold world guards the gate

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

Your love has kept my dream alive
A vision of my life
With you here by my side

Every forward step I take
Every moment I’m awake
I feel your love inside

So close I feel it in my bones
I know I’m not alone as I climb this wall
But I, sometimes I get so high
I just want to live, love
And taste it all

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

Here tonight
I lie awake and watch you dream
Under the light of the moon
I wonder just how far we’ve been
And where we’ll be
When the sun comes up
Will this be our date with destiny

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

I’m searching
I’m wondering
I’m yearning
Waiting for our time to come

And I’m waiting

How To Win Friends And Influence People (IV)

How To Be A Leader:

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this;

1) Begin with praise and honest appreciation

2) Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly

3) Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person

4) Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

5) Let the other person save face

6) Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"

7) Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

8) Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct

9) Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

As I said in first post on this book, all of these should be "no brainers", why then do we all find them so hard to follow? Why do we find it easier to knock down others and build up ourselves, rather than seeing things from the other person's point of view. No easy way of changing our own attitudes, but we need to keep asking God to make us more like Him. He is the only one who can help us follow these principles on consistent basis.

How To Win Friends and Influence People (III)

How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking:

1) The only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it

2) Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "you're wrong"

3) If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

4) Begin in a friendly way

5) Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately

6) Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

7) Let the other person feel like the idea is his or hers

8) Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

9) Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires

10) Appeal to the nobler motives (ie in the absence of any fact to the contrary, assume the other person is being honest and truthful)

11) Dramatise your ideas

12) Throw down a challenge ( but not in a threatening manner!)

How To Win Friends And Influence People (II)

Six Ways To Make People Like You:

1) Become genuinely interested in other people

2) Smile

3) Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language (ie if you remember and use a person's name you will be held in higher esteem)

4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves

5) Talk in terms of the other person's interests

6) Make the other person feel important- and to it sincerely

How To Win Friends And Influence People

I was reading R T Kendall's book Total Forgiveness when recovering earlier this year, he recommends reading the book of this title. Whilst it is not a specifically Christian book, it does contain lots of stuff that could have been taken straight from Proverbs, Paul's letters, or even Jesus' teachings. The book was written by Dale Carnegie and was first published in 1937, and as such, some of the language used is a bit dated. The title has been much maligned over the years, but I feel that it is imperative that we attempt to follow the principles he suggests, as to me they should be "no brainers", and as such will make our walk easier and more fulfilling.

The book is split into four parts, and my next four posts will outline the the principles suggested in each part.

Fundamental Techniques In Handling People:

1) Don't criticise, condemn, or complain

2) Give honest and sincere appreciation

3) Arouse in the other person an eager want (ie someone will do something if they want to)

Operation Mindcrime

Not only the name of a good concept album from Queensryche, but also what happens to so many of us on a daily basis. We let our minds get filled up with garbage, lies, jealousies and the like, rather than the truths of God's word to us. I have been going through a tough time in my head recently, culminating in a bit of pointless self pity this morning. I then somewhat reluctantly picked up my bible reading notes and read today's passage. The first two verses of which just struck me.

Romans 12: 1b-2

(Good News Bible)

Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer. Do not conform to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God - what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect.

(Message Bible)

Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognise what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to it's level of immaturity. God brings the best out of you, develops well formed maturity in you.

This is what I need to do on all levels to stop the mindcrime going on in my head. This does not mean that I should shun the culture around me, or people who do not share my faith. What it means to me is that I should concentrate on God's promises and make time for him to fill my mind completely with whatever his plan is for me. I should be involved in today's culture, but should also be able to stand out within it, by being a man of God. I can not be a good witness if there is no obvious difference between me and the next man. I need to allow God to win the Operation Mindcrime on a daily basis.

Contentment

Just a brief post to say that this morning I went on a five mile walk with my elder son. He is nearly eleven, and has been asking me to take him on a decent walk for some time. Having seen how he easily coped on the Panorama Walk on holiday, decided that we would try the circular walk from Crickley Hill that takes in a circuit through the countryside around Birdlip. He managed easily, and we are now planning on doing the eight mile Leckhampton walk in half term. I really enjoyed having company for a change on a walk, and had a great time. Even crossing the main road to Swindon twice was fun! Contentment is appreciating both family and the beauty of creation.

Susie Young

Apparently Susie, wife of Styx member James (JY) Young is seriously ill at the moment, the report below is taken from the styxworld.com site. I would like to wish her and JY all the best, and would encourage those of you who share my faith to pray for her.

"Dear STYX fans,

As many of you may already know, Susie Young, wife of James "J.Y." Young and beloved member of the STYX family, recently suffered an aneurysm, secondary to an arterio-venous malformation. Susie's doctors are optimistic about her progress and prognosis and have told us there will most likely be a long road to recovery. Putting a timetable on it is simply not possible.

For those of you who attended the recent shows in either Huddleston, VA or Roanoke Rapids, NC, you witnessed a first in STYX history – a STYX performance as a four-piece, without JY. It was only at JY's insistence that Tommy, Lawrence, Todd and Ricky performed at all.

Looking ahead, it is simply not possible to know in advance what Susie's condition will be from one day to the next, and although she is progressing, any recovery of this magnitude will have both good days and bad. With that said, there will be more performances in the near future that feature STYX as a four-piece. JY will perform whenever possible, but his presence at Susie's side is simply a priority for the time-being.

Unfortunately, there is no way to project where and when he will be able to join the band. Those decisions will literally be made each day, and be dictated by Susie's condition and needs. In the meantime, JY, Susie and the entire band ask for your continued patience and support. The thoughts, prayers and kind words are all appreciated. We will continue to update you as things develop."

The Message

When we were on holiday we visited Castell -y- Bere, see At The River's Edge. A sign by the pull in for the walk to the castle said that toilets were available 300m away opposite the church. As we had a bit of driving to do, we walked down there before setting off again. The church was in the village of Llanfihangel-y-pennant. My wife had already told me that this was the home village of Mary Jones, who walked for 26 miles to get a bible in the late 1700's. The church was open, so my eldest son and I had a look at the small exhibition about her in the vestry. The story is shown below, and taken from the Bible Society website. When she married she moved to both Twywn and Bryncrug, and is burried in the churchyard in the latter.


"The story of a young girl who saved for
six years and walked twenty-five miles to
own a Bible in her own language.


Many years ago, a little girl lived with her mother in a small grey stone cottage in the Welsh countryside. Her home was in a green valley in the shadow of a mountain, and from there you could sometimes see the sea in the far distance. Her father was a weaver who worked very hard to support his family but sadly he died when Mary was young.

‘Mary, Mary!’ called a distant voice.

‘Coming, Mother …’ Mary Jones knew what was expected of a nine-year-old girl.Without grumbling, she would do her share of the chores around her home. She would scrub the floors, feed the chickens, cook and help to keep the house tidy.

On Sunday mornings, Mary dressed in her Sunday best, would walk to the little chapel in the village two miles away. At the front, the minister would open a large, black, leather-bound book. As he began to read, Mary would marvel at the wonderful words and store them up in her heart. After the service, she would go cautiously up to look at the impressive book. There were two words printed in gold on its cover. Mary guessed that these said ‘Holy Bible’ because she had heard the minister mention the name of the book. The words inside looked odd to her. ‘How can anyone ever make sense of these squiggles?’ she thought. ‘Oh, how I wish I could read this book
for myself, or even have one for my own!’

Then, on Sunday morning, the minister, announced that a school was to open in the village. Mary was excited. ‘Now I can learn to read,’ she said, ‘and make sense of those strange marks in the book at chapel.’

The schoolmaster, Mr Evans, and his wife moved into a farmhouse not far from Mary’s home. Mary worked extra hard to finish her chores quickly so that she could go to the Evans’ house to learn to read. Her parents saw how hard their daughter worked at both schoolwork and her duties at home.

Months passed and seasons changed, until at last Mary was asked to read from the chapel Bible one Sunday morning. She was not very tall, so a special wooden box for her to stand on so that she could see the words properly. Now the squiggles were no longer strange to her. She read perfectly. Mr and Mrs Jones were very proud of their daughter.

After the service, Mary rushed up to her mother. ‘I must have a Bible, I must have a Bible!’ she cried. Her mother gently placed his hand on her shoulder. ‘But Mary, Bibles are expensive, and we haven’t much money.’

‘I know, I know, that’s why I am going to save up for one, and I don’t care how long it takes me. I’ll do jobs for other people, I’ll save all my pennies, I’ll do anything just to have my own Bible.’

And that is exactly what Mary did. For six long years she saved all she could until the day came when she had enough money to buy a Bible. Mr Evans had told her that there was a man in a town called Bala who had a number of Bibles. Mary, now fifteen, told her mother that she was going to walk to Bala.

Her mother exclaimed, ‘Daughter, that’s nearly twenty-five miles away!’ But there was no changing Mary’s mind she had waited too long for that. So, with her purse of money and some bread and cheese tied up in a bundle, she set off.

The journey to Bala seemed endless. Mary followed many paths, crossed valleys and streams and found her way around hills. As her weariness grew and her aching limbs seemed almost too much to bear, she muttered words of encouragement to herself. ‘Come on, Mary, not much further now,’ she thought. Eventually she came to the brow of a hill, from which she could see the edge of a town. Dusk was falling, and candlelight had begun to flicker in cottage windows. Mary's heart pounded with excitement. Here was Bala at last! She recognised it from Mr Evans’ clear description. With renewed energy and a new determination, she set off again down the hill.

Mary asked for directions to find Mr Charles. After knocking on several doors and asking for directions, she found his house. She ran up the garden path and knocked loudly on the large oak door.

As it was opened, Mary made her request for a Bible, the words tumbling over themselves in her eagerness: ‘I’ve walked twenty-five miles to get here, I’ve saved up for six years to buy a Bible, I’ve got the money here, you can count it if you like

– please can I have a Bible?’

Mr Charles was taken aback. ‘You had better come in and tell me all about it, but first you must have something to eat. You must be famished.’ He smiled kindly and beckoned the housekeeper to take Mary to the kitchen.

After she had eaten, Mary told Mr Charles everything. He was moved by her account. And he held out to her a brand new Bible. Mary stared at it for a long moment before taking it with both hands. Then she expressed her heartfelt thanks.

The next morning, Mary, clutching her treasured possession, said goodbye to Mr Charles and started on her way home. She arrived to a grand reception. It seemed as if everyone was there. Her mother threw her arms around her and hugged her. Nearby stood Mr Evans and the minister, smiling broadly and clapping their hands. Everyone was cheering and wanted Mary to show them her Bible. As she held the book up for all to see, she murmured a few quiet words. ‘Thank you, Jesus, thank you Mr Charles,’ she said.

In his study, Mr Charles remembered how the young girl had disappeared over the brow of a hill still holding the new Bible to her chest. He began to think of all the other Mary Joneses who must be wanting Bibles, not only in Wales but in England, Scotland, Ireland, and even in other more distant lands.

In 1804, the British and Foreign Bible Society was formed by Thomas Charles and other important men in response to needs which stories like that of Mary Jones had brought to light."

This to me is a truly inspiring story about a book which most of the time we just take for granted. It got me thinking how seriously do we take The Message. Respect is due to those who translate the bible into various languages so people around the world can read it and understand. It has also challenged me to try not to take the book and it's message for granted, and to live as instructed. The message it contains is not only important, but life saving. I also need to work out what else I can do to make the message more accessible and understandable to those around me, who as yet have not heard or received it for whatever reason.

At The River's Edge

This is the name of a live album, but is also a good title for a holiday round up. We spent a relaxing week in a lovely guest house in the hamlet of Friog which is on the Mawddach estuary opposite Barmouth. It was great just to be able to get out and enjoy family time without worrying about cooking, washing up and the like. Observations on things done:

Chester Zoo - Do not get there same time as loads of coaches! Great value for money, well laid out, animals looked well cared for, needed more time to see everything better.

Rhostyllen - Thanks for cuppa on way through guys

Friog- Very small hamlet, tucked away from more touristy Fairbourne

Talyllyn Railway - Good scenic route, despite downpour. Love steam railways.

Barmouth - A place you either love or hate. Lots of very safe sandy beach. Harbour on estuary. Mountains rising above old town. Swam in sea.

Panorama Walk - Scenic walk to a smallish peak overlooking the estuary and sea above Barmouth. My personal favourite spot in the whole world. Can and have spent hours up there just being still and taking it all in.

Centre for Alternative Technology - Inspiring place for over 30 years. Have been a shareholder for 18 years. Helped us to change some atttitudes over the years. Now linked from this blog.

Castell - Y- Bere - Scenic Welsh stronghold in mountains near Cadair Idris. Now ruined but still imposing and worth the drive down narrow lanes to get there.

Dyffi Furnace - An example of early water driven industry for iron works.

Strata Florida - Ruined abbey, but peaceful and secluded, can see why monks settled there.

The day after getting back, went up to Slough for the season opener and a curry with my home town friends.

The next day was my family's annual cousins day. At my mother's funeral five years ago, my eldest cousin decided it would be a good idea to meet up once a year, rather than just at funerals and the like. Since then we have done so at Lydiard Park just outside of Swindon. It is good for us to keep in touch like this, and also that our various children can grow up knowing each other as well.

All this seems ages ago now, not just a few days, I'm ready for another holiday already!

Lonely People

This is a song I haven't heard for a while, but the words have got me thinking, who are the lonely people? We can so easily make assumptions about people, both good and bad. It could be that the ones that we assume are lonely, ie the more down trodden, are in fact happy in what they have. We can also assume that the apparent rich and powerful of commuter belt are ok, but are they? We should not assume anything about anyone, only God knows where a person really is. We need to ask God to show us the lonely people he wishes us to come alongside. This is not something I am good at, as I prefer the company of those I know, but God calls us to reach out to the lonely. We need to befriend them, and introduce them to potentially their best friend ever - Jesus.

The song is taken from the Paradise Theatre album, which is about the closure of a cinema of that name in Chicago, that is the reference made to Paradise in the song. The song makes reference to the subway seats, and penthouse suites, ie the apparent affluent people. How many people do we know that smile and say their fine, but really this is not the case?


Lonely People

The rain was hot, the streets were empty
As downtown closed her eyes
The movie house stood in silence as I said my last good-byes
Her silver screen was stained with memories
As Cagney shot them down
And as I watched I was that hero
In dreamlands lost and found

Oh my God, well we both are empty Paradise and me
Do you believe I'm still chasing rainbows
When everywhere I see

Lonely People, Lonely People
Up above these ghetto streets
In penthouse suites they sit and stare
Lonely People, Lonely People
They smile and say they're fine
But behind their eyes they just don't care
Lonely People
They just don't care
Lonely People, Lonely People

Lonely People, Lonely People
Beneath these neon streets in subway seats they crowd for air
Lonely People, Lonely People
So close and yet so far they share the secrets of despair
Lonely People, Lonely People

When You Came Into My Life

This song was released by the Scorpions, who we are going to see in October in Wolverhampton. Strangely it has sort of become our song, despite first hearing it 18 years after we met. Sentiments were accurate at the time though, and still are.

You give me your smile
A piece of your heart
You give me the feel I've been looking for
You give me your soul
Your innocent love
You are the one I've been waiting for
I've been waiting for

We're lost in a kiss
A moment in time
Forever young
Just forever, just forever in love

When you came into my life
It took my breath away
Cause your love has found it's way
To my heart

Ooh, ahh
Ooh, ahh

You make me dream
By the look in your eyes
You give me the feel, I've been longing for
I wanna give you my soul
All my life
Cause you are the one I've been waiting for
I've been waiting for so long

When you came into my life
It took my breath away
And the world stopped turnin' round
For your love
When you came into my life
It took my breath away
Cause your love has found it's way
To my heart
Into my heart

Just forever in love

When you came into my life
It took my breath away
And the world stopped turnin' round
For your love
When you came into my life
It took my breath away
Cause your love has found it's way
To my heart
When you came into my life

When you came into my life
It took my breath away
And the world stopped turnin' round
For your love
When you came into my life
It took my breath away
Cause your love has found it's way
To my heart

Paradise

I have become aware that my more recent posts have been somewhat heavy in nature, and I will rectify this for the next couple. These lyrics are dedicated to my lovely wife, who has put up with me since we first met back in January 1988. I think she has just about forgiven me for calling her a domesticated Welsh rock chick!

Paradise


One touch was all I needed to know
You were the one for me
My fate and my destiny
You smiled and all at once I could see
I’d found a love so true
That I could give all to you

And suddenly I realized
That all the fortune and fame
Can’t compare to the sound of your voice
Whenever you speak my name

Paradise is anyplace where I can be with you
Leave behind the heartache and the pain that I’ve been through
Safe in your arms
Safe in the world tonight
For you are my paradise

My heart was broken so many times
I couldn’t imagine when I’d ever love again
But every time I look at you
I know that I’ve been blessed
For I’m sure I’ve found heaven on earth
Each time I feel your caress

’cause paradise is anyplace where I can be with you
Leave behind the heartache and the pain that I’ve been through
Safe in your arms
Safe in the world tonight
For you are my paradise

And all at once I realized
That all the fortune and fame
Can’t compare to the sound of your voice
Whenever you call my name

’cause paradise is anyplace where I can be with you
And leave behind the heartache and the pain that I’ve been through
I’m safe in your arms
Safe in the world tonight
For you are my paradise

Not For Here, But For There

"Not for here, but for there, with the lost and the lonely
Not for here, but for there, with the broken and the hungry"

These lines are at the end of an inspiring new song called Bones on the latest David Gate album. The album is called Nothing to Fear. In my opinion David is an inspired songwriter, and someone I am pleased to know.

I think these words are prophetic in a way. Another part of the song is asking God to come and fill me, as I have no strength and can't do it on my own. God will come and provide us with His Spirit to give us the strength to carry out His work. We can not keep it to ourselves though, we must keep giving it away. God does not want us to be just in Church meetings all the time, that would not achieve anything apart from probably giving us a holier than thou attitude. We are to be out in the world doing God's stuff, and then to return to Him for re-filling.

When singing this song last night at a Hungry for God evening, God really spoke to me. My frustration that these evenings will now clash with football is pathetic. Football is where I am meant to be. I may not be the greatest player to have ever pulled on the shirt for Cheltenham Trinity FC, but that is where God wants me. If as a Christian I only had friends with the same believes as me, I would be falling very short of Jesus' commission for our lives. I am meant to have friends from all walks of life. I personally do not feel comfortable going up to someone and initiating a conversation about Jesus, But I need to be in a position to respond if the topic is raised. I also need to be a convincing advert for the Christian faith, and this is where I definitely need God's help.

Jesus' love is for everyone, the saved, the lost, the lonely, the broken and the hungry. He loves them all the same, though there will be a party in Heaven when one of the others joins the ranks of the saved. It is our job to invite people to join the party, and we can not do that whilst being in Church events all the time.

Cornerstone (III)

Finding ways to fit everything into the school summer holidays is harder than it looks. There is still the usual long list of jobs to be done, some of which are now years behind schedule. We are also trying to fit in at least one family outing a week, to keep the boys onside. They were both given the chance to choose where to go for the last two weeks. Last week we had a very enjoyable few hours at the Cotswold Wildlife Park, as chosen by the 5 year old. I know zoos are not everyones cup of tea, but I really like the chance to get up close and personal with creatures such as wolfs, lions and rhinos.

This morning we were in Bourton, as chosen by the nearly 11 year old. Not to visit Birdworld, which is the main tourist trip, but to two smaller attractions. The model village is typical of it's ilk, but worth a look. The model railway exhibition though is a very good cheap way to spend an hour or so. There are four track layouts, and three of them offer the chance for young (and not so young) visitors to control the trains. Bliss for three of us, hope my wife liked it too!

Yesterday, we had a trip to visit my wife's parents. Worked for our lunch though, clearing parts of both the garden and the attic. Hard work in the heat, but worthwhile, as feels good to be able to help them out, after them helping us in so many ways over the last twenty years. Spent few hours relaxing reading in the shade after lunch.

The bible teaches us to honour our parents, and for both parents and children to respect each other. Family has always been important to me, and is more so now as I have fewer immediate family than I once did, and those that remain are getting older.

Driving back over the Cotswolds today, I felt reminded that family is a cornerstone of my faith. Family life was important to Jesus, and we are taught to put family behind God in the pecking order, but above everything else. So easy to get that wrong at times.

Cornerstone (II)

If you have read my earlier post on All I Want, you will know that I have struggled with the Hungry for God nights moving to Thursdays, as that is the day that Cheltenham Trinity have our football night. I have been prompted by God to now look upon this as an opportunity, rather than a setback. I have benefited greatly from the Hungry nights, but God can bless us as and when He chooses, not just at large events. By laying down the chance to go to the Hungry nights on a regular basis, I believe that God will open up as yet unknown opportunities for us. As a result of the night change, Alpha is moving from Thursday to Tuesday, so longer clashes with football. Maybe an opening there for some?

I am wondering if the change in the Hungry night to the football night is a coincidence? The dictionary says that a coincidence is "notable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent casual connection". An alternative definition is a set of circumstances ordained by God. Throughout my life I can look back and see situations where I've wondered why am I at this place at this time, and then seen God do some amazing stuff. If the coincidence that had put me there had not happened, I would not have been blessed, or been in the position of being a blessing to someone else.

I have come to see these God ordained coincidences as opportunities, once I've dealt with the natural disappointment of missing out on the original thing. If we are to take what God has given us, out into our natural environments, and then give it away, we must use these opportunities. I must continue to get filled up by God, and I am sure that He will present me with other opportunities to be so.

In short, I feel another cornerstone of my faith must be to recognise and use God ordained opportunities.

Cornerstone

This is the name of the very first Styx album that I bought. Got it on the strength of the song Babe, which I now detest as total slush!

What is a cornerstone? The dictionary says "one in projecting angle of wall, foundation stone, indispensable part, basis". As a Christian I believe that Jesus is the cornerstone of my life, but from the dictionary definition what else could be, or should be, part of my cornerstone?

If you have read any of my previous posts, you will know that I have been helped in a big way by the Hungry for God nights at Trinity. Last night, however, I chose to miss one to go out for a few beers and a curry with a good friend of mine. On reflection, I feel I was "fed" during this evening, as much as I would have been if I had gone to Trinity, if not more. I was obviously fed in the physical sense, and the curry was top rate. I was also fed in a spiritual sense as well. Not with the obvious and generous out pouring of God's Spirit, one might expect in a Hungry night, but nevertheless God was there.

This was not an evangelistic opportunity to me, this was just two good friends having a chat and a meal. I believe God was involved in our conversations even though He was not specifically mentioned.

I believe that the main purpose behind the outpouring of God's Spirit at the Hungry nights, is to equip the Church for mission, in it's widest sense. If I can try to reflect God's love for other people over a meal and a chat, then friendship must also be a cornerstone of my faith.

I am asking God to show me what other everyday events should in fact be cornerstones, rather than just happenings. Cornerstones are foundations and indispensable, so need maintenance to keep in good strength. God is the builder and master craftsman who will repair my crumbling foundations, I should then be able to use these foundations to good effect.

All I Want

What do I want? I'm not sure really. To be not so tired, to be a better dad and husband, to be not so quick tempered, not to be seeking other peoples approval all the time, to lose weight (though this is happening, albeit slowly), to be a "better" Christian, to have a decent singing voice, to have more security about different stuff. All of these and more probably.

The bible tells us that we have all we need in Jesus, and I believe this to be true. Despite the fact that I know there is a plan for my life, I still like to do things my way. What results. The problems that are listed as wants, that's what.

The bible also tells us that we can cry out to God about anything, and He will answer in His way. Simple, but also difficult. I want Him to answer my way, despite the fact that His way is infinitely better for me.

I believe that when we cry out to God, He will answer. I also believe that to "survive" in this world, we need to be constantly filled with the Holy Spirit. That is why I have found the series of Hungry for God evenings so helpful. I have been touched by His Spirit there in powerful ways.

I felt frustrated and to a degree bitter, when I found that these were moving to Thursday evenings. Thursday night is football night! How was I to get my "fill up"? These thoughts need banishing. God will pour out His Spirit whenever we ask for it, not exclusively at "special events". I could ask now, and it would happen. I am sure that God would prefer me to be at football, trying to practice what I preach, rather than being at another "church event". Trying to play football with both Christan, and those who are not, in a style that incorporates integrity and fair play, is surely a better option.

I think that what I really want, is to be more open with, and about God. If I am then everything else, will probably fall into place.